A Smile =D

assalamualaikum... hows evryone today? hows today? hope dat evrythg and evryone is great. so, wussup eyh? quite okayla. but da last two period really boiled my blood to da max. ive no idea wat to do with dis brats? nak lempang, anak orang. nak tendang, anak orang. last² aku pkila tektik rahsia utk mendiamkn budak² nih. aper die? malasla mau cite, kite cite mende lain okay?

but dis evening, im darn happy coz h2b is picking me up from skool. as h2b drop me off to skool too. so i felt like a wife already, where da hubby send and pick his darling wife from work. awesome kan? wat a great feeling, thank you Allah so much =)

so, we went to da kedai kad, but like my hunch has spoken b4, da kad isnt finish yet. its either tomorrow, or friday. so we will see by then. but if nothing is done, then please refund da express charge eyh?

later, since our kad isnt available yet, we went to carre*four again. perform maghrib prayer, then have our dinner. quite full, alhamdulillah smpi x abis makan. minta maaf ya Allah, i really cudnt understd why i cant finish my food like i use to. i think my tummy had shrunk la. mkn sket terus penuh. its not dat ive lost my appetite, its just dat, i think im full when im half done. i know its bad to throw away good food, but sorry, i just cudnt stuff all of it down my throat. please forgive me ya Allah...

after diner, we look around da shops. and we manage to cross some of the things from our checklist. so great, alhamdulillah. there's a bit more to finally finish crossing the items, i hope we can finish it by this week.

owh, btw ive made my full payment for da pelamin. cut budget in a lot of things, so about 1k we cud save up da spenditure. i know wedding is once in a lifetime, but i think its better to think the after effect of the wedding. wat i had in mind bout my wedding is, the guest is happy, plenty of food for evryone, and da kenduri is blessed by evryone dat came. dats my ultimate wedding dream. but ofcoz in the most sensible and pleasant for evryone. other than dat, nothg fancy, nothg biggie, just simple and suitable for all of the guest.

hmm... i didnt know dat its gona cost a lot, dis lot for a wedding. never once i read in any wedding stories, telling da cost is quite a bomb. i kno, probably no one is about da bragging. but its good to kno da price in details so dat i can expect da bomb to explode on my face first hand. but, all in all, evrythg is settle, so yup da bomb did explode and we survive, alhamdulillah...

so back home, thank god h2b is around to shell me from kena marah sbb balik lambat. so, h2b yg kena marah =p h2b told dis and dat, abah pun marah skit jerla. wat to do kan, im 27 and i still have a curfew. now im feeling like im still twelve, dat lil gal who is grounded and can never hang out with her friends bcoz me daddy and mommy loves me very much and will always shield me from any harm. i kno dat my parent is always concern with all of their kids, and im still living under their roof, so obey is a must and making them happy yes i shall...

overall, quite a day today. and alhamdulillah it finally rained after a few days of blasting hot weather. indeed its a blessing from Allah, thank you Allah for da rain. it made us all truly happy =D

think dis is all dat i got in mind. its nearly weekend already. so lets work hard to enjoy our weekend. aja aja fighting!!! assalamualaikum...

A While

ola... assalamualaikum... hmm, been 5 days since last post. nothg to write actually, more just toward ramblings. but wat da heck, lets ramble anyway la ek...

so da update? wat we did/buy last weekend? hmm, nothin much. h2b n me went to buy sum more stuff for us. we manage to buy da jewellery (necklace-for me, ring-for h2b) and also i bought h2b a perfume. so my list for him just left with one only! da baju melayu. i hope we can finally find da baju dat h2b loves. so still in search for da baju, and my other stuff too. lets finish crossing all of da list by this week, or next week, or whenever da list can be crossed...

umm, dis morning, h2b and i will be getting our cards. hopefully da card is ready when we're goin to pick it up. or else, we will ask for refund since its not done expressly.

other than dat, wat a big sigh each time i saw my student buat perangai. im embarrased and malas-nak-layan-dah and bengang jadi cikgu kelas budak² nih. why is it so difficult to be a good student and wont make a mess till da final bell ring? haiyo, asyik nk kena marah jerla budak2 nih. im so kesian and pity these kids but they are da one who's looking for trouble. sorry guys, you must pay da price for evrythg. nothg comes free these days honey. no money, no honey...

umm, just wana pinch a bit on my question paper. ada salah pulak da, typo-error i guess. seb baik noticed b4 da test. klu x, kesian budak² ni. cedera parah urat saraf diorg kira² and then x dpt jawapan...

another pinch of thoughts... well, sumtimes doin your best can lead you sumwhere else i guess. wat im trying to say is, ive been chosen to do da explorace again. but this time isnt for da kids. but other than da kids, you got wat i mean? *raising eyesebrows* so ive no idea wat to install for this game. have to think through. seriously, been imagining da scenarios and da possibility on how da day may be, but still in da planning mode, nothg biggie. but when da clock is ticking like HaLLL, then il press da pb button, alritey?

so thinks datsal. better catch some sleep. i dnt know why, but lately its been hard to fall off to sleep. tossing and turning here n there but no avail. do you guys have da same problem? care to share your experience?

nite² evryone, and a very good morning too i suppose. may your day today better than yesterday. so, lets do our best and be the best. Fighting!!! assalamualaikum...

~ Minta Maaf ~

tadi masa tgh online, terdengar mcm nama kena panggil. tp kekadang tuh terasa mcm terperasan jer nama kena panggil. then dgr betul², rupa²nya abah panggil. terus berlari turun. cari² abah, x jupe cari. rupa²nya abah dkt luar. abah suruh bukakkan pintu cage putih tuh, sbb abah dpt tangkap kucing jantan yg jahat sgt tuh. then by the time i understood wat abah is asking me to do, kucing tuh cakar² abah, dan dapat melepaskan diri. abah sgt kecewa, i apologise many² times. i let my dad down, minta maaf abah = "(

minta maaf sbb terpekakkan telinga, i really didn't expect abah will call for me. i thought abah is calling for naim. im really sad and frustrated by myself. dis is it ain, next time, whether abah or mak is calling for someone else, just attend to them and be alert, respond to surrounding and pay attention. if not, il be a dissapointment again...

i cant erase da looks from abah. very dissapointed and frustrated. i felt like no others too. arghhh, why cant i listen carefully tadi? dont you have ears ain? duh, wat a dumb question anyway...

i hope tgn abah yg kena cakar td tuh cpt baik. im so worried rite now since abah ada diabetes. please pray for the wound to heal faster. kesian abah, i really broke his hart.

then my h2b call and asked evrythg alrite, which i sadly replied nooo, an inch close sobbing to tears. then he asked, wats wrong and i spill evrythg. he listen quietly and promised to catch dat jahat punya kucing yg dah cakar tgn abah. i really hope kucing tuh pegi jauh2 dari rumah kami, sbb kucing tuh mmg terlampau jahat sgt, die klu masuk rumah ni jer, dier suka pancut². habis baju2 yg dah lipat, kusyen and evrythg else lg die kencing. bangang giler, suka curi lauk, suka gaduh dgn kucing kitorg smpi kucing tuh tershitty evrywhere and bb yg kena basuh and da list of his evilness will go on!!!

but h2b did lift my spirit up. and cheer me =) saya sudah mampu tersenyum kembali =) alhamdulillah. cuma, saya berdoa pada Allah agar luka di tgn abah cepat sembuh. Ya Allah, sembuhkanla tgn abah, its my stupid mistakes ya Allah, please forgive me and heal abah's wound ~ amin...

dah berkali² minta maaf pada abah. harap abah jgnla kecewa lagi dgn anaknya ini. i know abah isnt dissapointed just bcoz of dis incident, it stretches longer than dat. and i kno dat very well. but i wont elaborate more on dat. so by dat, i do promise dat i wana be a better daughter, so dat abah and mak will always happy with us...

and yesterday, h2b lost his phone bcoz of me too. on his way here, i called him and asked whether he cud stop by at dat pasar malam and buy roti goreng for naim. mula² naim asked me to go to pasar mlm tuh, tp i was busy cooking dinner, so i called h2b instead. and while he was at da pasar malam, pencuri bongok telah curi my h2b phone. but, h2b always find the way to take evrythg in the other way around. he uses logic and common sense which i rarely use. he accepted the lost and make me accepted the lost too. by losing, you will gain something too, insyaAllah...

kinda feel low and down at da moment and i just dont know why. please bounce back from this state ain. its ok to feel sorrow and sadness, but too much of it will bring nothg but misery. be strong and stay strong, always looks at da brighter side and postive thinking is da way to go. take a deep breath, hold it and let it go. believe in Allah, have faith in Allah at all time. you can do this ain, aja aja fighting!!!

wow, wat a long run just to mutter about how sad i am, dat i made my dad frustrated. dis post really is a murmur for myself, dis is how i talk to myself. so dat i wont do it again next time. so dat i will respond better next time. so dat i will be better next time. so say all you want, called me freak or watever, heck i wont care any less bcoz dis is me. when i feel sad, i write. when im down, i write. again, i used to write in my lil book, always write my thoughts in there. but dis time, i will simply write in here, just for a change. but i wont make it a habit, probably i would. i dnt kno, well who knows anyway rite?

till here, sorry for keeping you reading dis long when you probably had something better to do. like always, take care and dont ever let someone dear to you down. bcoz da hartbreakin is da equal amount for both party. always be a better person evry single day. so let aja aja fighting evryone!!! assalamualaikum...

Some Other...

assalamualaikum... another entry again. well, hari nih balik mcm rileks sket sbb mak abah dah beli dkt pasar mlm. so layan blog jap, then nk turun utk prepare BBM sbb esok kena cerap lg (hopefully) dgn GKMP math. dah brapa kali kensel dah nih. td pun solehah dikenselkan jugak. kesian dier dah prepare sume BBM td. so hopefully esok kena cerap and settle sume nih. to dayah, minta maafla x dpt nk wish utk ko. harap konye observe pun berjalan lancar. aku siyesly xde kedit nk reply. cikgu x dpt gaji lgla. wish aku jugak tau esok...

btw, how's my favourite people doin? harap2 sumenye ok, di bawah lindungan Allah selalu. sume dkt rumah, alhamdulillah sehat. kaklin mcm mana? sehat jugakkn? kakin malas nk on9la dis days. sbb byk mende nk setelkn dulu. nanti kite chat2 lagi ok? esok kakin nk p settlekn pasal borang kawin, n pelamin n kad. nanti kakin updatekn postnye di sini orite?

so, soklan math dah siap direso. mulalah nk kena menstapler dan patahla pinggang cenggini. teruskan berusaha =) ada soklan sivik pun kak azie nk minta bahagi² lah menstapler, tp aku direct jer reject td sbb yg math nih pun aku wat sorg jer. sorry kak azie, i think i did hurt your feeling td. but im so sorry, ive only two hands. ive to finish my work first, then il help you out orite? btw, maknye soklan pun aku x buat² lg. nasib mak x ckp pape lg nih. tp harap² by tonite dah leh siap kot. so wish me all da luck eh...

i think enoughla membebel for today. td aku berjaya menyenyapkn satu kelas yg tersgt² bising mengalahkn makciks kepochi. diam jugakla budak2 nih smpi bunyi loceng nk balik. wat did i do? rahsia jerla. x machola klu bgtau korang eh? watever, bila hati dah terusik, takkan terdaya menahan air mata utk tidak jatuh berguguran bukan? well, basically, i didnt cry. i just choke and my words get da best of me. so diorg pun diam jerla. terinsafla kejap kot? watever. ive said wat i need to say and im sure they understd the message i try to convey.

kesimpulannya, malas dahla nk marah². tp klu x marah² diorg nih, nanti form 2 diorg naik lemau. then mulala cikgu petang yg disalahkn. kata tak bertegas, x marah2 budak2 nih la. i guess, i will continue my yelling, but if they are too stubborn, il just call their parent and let them know how spoil brat their child is at skool. dats my last resort for these kids. harap² besar nanti diorg nih jadila orang yg berguna.

orite, better stop and stare =D nite evryone. have a good day tomorro. assalamualaikum...

Boleh Tak? - TANTRUM begin...

boleh tak jgn buat perangai dgn mak? dgn abah? boleh x put only happy faces infront of them no matter how blow up i wana be? boleh x jadi anak yg baik, yg xkn jadi emoszilla? boleh x jgn nk BIG*HUGE ET memanjang? boleh x jgn buat sesuatu yg menyusahkan hati mak, yg menyerabutkn perasaan mak? boleh ke x boleh?

Jawapannya berbunyi.....

Boleh, tp ikut me bloody moodly windy swindy gitu. i know, i damn know i shudnt do/make anythg in anyways dat cud hurt me mak. but, i am kapla batu, lagi keras sama itu batu. hantuk kapla kat dinding pun kapla yg pecah =p but i did it anyway, i shudnt but i did. forgive me mak, anak yg kapla batu neh. harapkn kapla, kapla batu. darn it...

so wat did dis drama queen buat pulak kali nih? big time!!! how big? as big as my head i guess. so wat did really happen? hmm, to start with, saya sudah byk kali kena marah sbb lmbt hantar borg gs*tt itu. boleh x malas sebenarnya nk p pp*d itu. layanan die x best, mcm kurap. muahaha, xdela gurau je. probs sbb mereka penat kot, byk mende nk kena setelkn. wat ever. so moving on, since pp*d gom*bak sudah tutup itu peluang, mak ckp dkt w.p boleh lg memohon. so off we (mak n me) went to itu w.p lah. itu pun berapa kali terlajakla, xtau kat manala, blalala... moving on, berkat doa dan tawakal, akhirnya smpi jugala. then, dis is when i started to buat perangai ala2 budak hentak kaki dkt supermarket, literally je yea. jgnla korang terimaginasi aku buat sumthg like dat, gile hape minah neh nk buat cenggitu lagi...

cut craps again, so kami pun pusing2 la itu bangunan, rupanya byk jugakla bangunan nih. x terjumpa cari gitu. kenala tanya kaunter pertanyaan kan. so blalala, on da way nk smpi ke tempat yg dituju, aku dah nmpk n baca notis kata pengambilan gs*tt dah tutup. mungkin mak x perasan nk baca notis tersebut kot. so bile dah tiba di lounge tersebut, aku pun buat perangai n protes dkt mak, kata gs*tt nih dah abis blalala, so nk ajak mak balik jerla. tp mak pujuk n minta tanyala itu kaunter. for me, if i knew da result, or by da glimpse of it, i wont dare to take da risk just to listen to da slap on my face saying more or less like dis - x reti baca ke dek non oi, dah tutup lama dah ni ha, org dah tampal notis merata dah nih.

after throwing a few tantrum and memeningkn kepala mak, mak pun smpi give up and ckp jomla balik, i just sat there and keep quiet for a minute or less. rationalizing and reasoning da consequences, so i went to da counter, and asked 'gs*tt dah tutup ek?' to be answered by itu pakcik kaunter with 'dah lama dah tutup dik, bulan 12 lagi' so i gave myself a face 'i told you so' and answered back 'klu mcm tu, saya isi borang utk guru ganti la' - which utk mencover malu, but i dnt like bein a sub-teacher, sbb tempoh sgt pendek, n its hard to compress evrythg in a matter of 2-3 month time.

jd masa tgh isi2 tuh, pakcik tuh borak2 la dgn mak, mak tanya2 pakcik tu. aku sgt x suke mengisi borang itu dan berdoa x dptla jadi cikgu ganti. then pakcik tuh ckp dgn sorg pegawai kt dlm, mintak aku nye sijil2 potostet tuh, take a look at the certs, then tanya aku 'berminat x nk jadi gs*tt? ada satu lg tmpt dkt sekolah x ' so im like ok. so pakcik nih bgla aku isi borang gs*tt nih...

pergh, pjg n details nye bercerita. boleh buat esei ttg bagaimana aku mengapply gs*tt nih gitu. moving on, and cut da many craps, pegawai dkt dlm tuh mintak aku dtg selasa dpn. katanya sbb aku berpakaian tidak sesuai - pki oversize jeans ala2 baggy, dgn oversize long-sleeves shirt. mmg ala2 hippie n baggy. style hipigy la kot ek. adala dua tiga empat soklan lagi yg dier tanya, tp malasla nk taip. x penting pun. saja nk buat ala2 interview la tu.

so wish me luck yea next tuesday. praying for da best. wat ever da outcome, i accept with open arms. tho im not quite ready to become a teacher again just yet, tp rezeki jgnla ditolak2, x baik. jgnla nk jual mahal x tentu pasal yea x?

hearing dis news, mak n abah pun dah ok. xdela nk bising2 lg pasal x hantar borangla, x berusahala, x itu ini la. i understand my parents, they worrid bout me, they love me. i do love them much, so much. but, at first, i thought, bgla peluang dkt org lain pulakkn utk jd gs*tt, xknla nk conquer sorg2 jer kn. x baik. futhermore, i wud like to focus n concentrate on my upcoming wedding. ( yup, we're doin it our way. masak secara berjemaah sesama keluarga, cat rumah pun secara berjemaah, sume la berjemaah dan sendirian berhad) tp, lps asyik kena marah jer nih, i just have to take my chance n hopefully dimurahkn rezeki... plus saya sudah x larat nk dgr bising2 drpd ibu bapa saya.

so lets pray for evrythg to end up well. all well end well kan? so have a good day, have a marvellous weekend. take care n stay safe aite =)

Cuti Sekolah

hari ni dah hari jumaat, which means ive got till dis weekend away from skool. so help me blog, boost me with super human strength to face the faces of these angelic children...

bunyi mcm very in need of needness just to think of the skool. i mean, lagi kasihan itu budak2. they dont get paid to go to skool, they have to spend more or less of 6 hours at skool lg. futhermore kena buat homework, kena tahan with all those peer pressure and the teacher's ramblings... who said these both world is easy. being the teacher or being teach by the teacher. both hold equal amount of pressure and difficulties. so why dont this both world make it easier for both side? got dat kids? so plz dnt make ur teacher go banana each day alrite?

let me elaborate here and there about this skool holiday. for the past week, well things gotta be a lil bit out of hand. wats dat bout? hmm, lemme peel one by one la ek nak senang cite, but this story is quite long, so klu rasa boring, tutup jerla ek tingkap itu. kita buat mesyuarat pintu pulak lepas ni...

first, evrythg shud fall as we plan it to be. tp, the story plot got twisted a bit, and this is where we learn dat 'kita hanya mampu merancang, Allah yg menentukan segalanya' yes, now i really understand this often repeated phrase. anyway, the core plan is dat we all go bck to kampung for a few days, just to attend my cousins wedding bcoz naim pun ada tuisyen dkt skolah die. several night before we went back, kaklin ckp die demam. as to speak, ingtkn demam biase je. then she said she got all these rashes alover her body. so ingtkn demam campak, but it wud be weird sbb die dh penah kena dh. my parent was worrid since the symptoms indicate dat she might have hepatitis. and its worrying evry1 since hepatitis is not somethg we cud take lightly. end up, my parent book a flight for the next day which is on friday afternoon. sgt kelam kabut, mlm tula nk packing sume n the most worrid person is ofcoz my mother sbb sume just fall at the same time. kesian ma, but ive assured her dat evrythg at home will be fine. so mak kena pk pasal kaklin jerla, yg lain me and the rest get it all covered.

so friday, on the way to the airport we've got the news dat kaklin was wheeled to the ward. her liver enzyme rose from normally bout 130 to 1000++. dats a shock. all the rashes is caused due to this problem. mata die mmg dah kuning. kesian kn my lil sister. kitorg dkt cni hanya mampu doakn die cpt sembuh.

so on wednesday, kitorg adik-beradik plus my cousin; kak izam and her children; syafi n nurin headed to kampung. sbb bertolak lmbt, lmbtla sampai. round 8 gitu. since our parent xde, i must say its uneasy for me. sbb slalu seronok lepak dkt dapur pun sbb ada mak. klu x, i dont really like hangin wit my makciks. its bcoz they like nagging pasal tepi kain org lain. menyampah kn? buat tambah dosa jer. so evry tepi kain org, klu nk tau, nak dgr, pegila lepak dgn makciks. sume yg panas, yg hangit, evn bout me pun keluar. smpila i heard it myself!tula, ckp pandang2 la sket, ni bile dah terbocor baru nak buat muka sememeh. ahaha, sgt priceless with all the speechless motion. its really fine with me, suka hatila nk ckp ape pun. to be honest, ofcoz it pinches my hart. tp stil, im fine with dat. so the nxt time, jgn hrpla saya nk baik2 sgt. i must say, im bein nice bcoz i am nice. tp, if ure not bein nice, do u deserve to be nice back at ya? thinkla for yourself, im sure done thinking already...

moving on, bout the wedding. well, xdela tolong ape sgt. the night before the ceremony, we stayed at the bride's house smpi pukul 3 pg. evntho kitorg baru smpi pukul 8 tu, dah settle sume brg, we went straight to the house. tolong2 with the goodie bag, bunga telur n stuff, then aku pun borak2 la dgn cousin ku yg akn memjadi isteri org. she's younger than i am, baru 22. dah smpi seru, langsungkn jela. aku hanya mampu berseru, xtaula bile serunya akn smpi. ahaha, x kesah. im happy the way we are right now. wats da rush kn? so ape lg nk ditolong? well, im the one yg inaikan itu pengantinla. hehe, seronok jer conteng2 tgn dgn kaki die. mcm2 corak jadinya. suka hatila, since im doin it foc. so jgn nk byk songeh eh.

lps berinai, the bride kena facial oleh kak izam. dats y lmbt sgt sbb kena tunggu inai kering baru buat itu facial. tetiba hujan pun turun. nak tunggu hujan reda skit, barula balik rumah. esoknya, dlm pukul 8 aku dah bgn. sapu2 smph dulu kt ats, then barula bersiap sedia utk bwk my cousin pegi make up. masa tu kak chik dah brapa kali call, takut aku terlupa. mula2 aku ingtkn kak izam xnk ikut, skali die mau ikut da... so kenala tunggu dlm sejam gakla nk bersiap. kak chik memanjang je call, sakit jiwa jap time. appointment makeup tuh kol 10. tunggu punya tunggu, kami semua berlepas dlm pukul 10.30. yg lagi menghampehkan keadaan tukang solek or mak andam tuh lagila lmbt dr kami ni. ada ka patut kami dhla smpi kt saloon die kol 11, die dok tang jerlun lg. kami pi pekena roti canai dulula sementara si cik kak andam ni mai. tu dia, si mek ni smpi pukul 12.20. peluh dok tunggu dia mai. sementara kak chik disolekkn, kami pi jitra, cari serkup kepala kak chik. boleh x nak kawin jap lg, anak tudung x beli lg? sakit jiwa jap jugakla. seb baikla jupe gak serkup pala. boleh tahanla, ada manik2 dan sesuai dgn theme die, kaler ungu.

nak siap mekap pun dlm sejam, dlm pukul 1.15 kami bertolak balik. yg pengantin lelaki pun dah smpi. tp diorg kena tunggu kt port lain dulu sementara nk tunggu lg satu rombongan. as i said, kenduri nih for my two cousins; bang chik dgn kak chik. kami nih pun pegila dkt rombongan kak chik ni, dah berpeluh tgk diorg ni tunggu. diorg dah smpi lama dah, dr pukul 12 lebeh td. kesian diorg, kami pun ajakla diorg mai rumah tuk kami. rumah tuk kami dgn rumah pengantin xla jauh mana, dlm 50 meter gitu. so dh lepak2 jap rumah tok kami, satu lg rombongan dah smpi. so setella sumenya.

kesimpulannya, kenduri nih agak kelam kabut sikit. i pity sgt kak chik, sbb on her wedding day, she shud be worrid free. ni ais habis pun tanya die suruh die orderkn, sbb die ada member yg boleh deliver the ice. mcm2 la membuatkn si kak chik ni pening pala dlm diam. kesian kak chik...

so dah slmt pasal kenduri. on saturday, the day before we headed back home, kitorg p padang besar. well, im not very keen to go there, tp join jerla. nk dok kt umah tuk pun, who am i anyway? cucu yg jarang balik, xcpt for school holiday. yeah, sound pathetic, tp wat to do. the thing bout padang besar is, bukannya ada apa pun. brg2 xla murah. tp ramai jugak yg dtg. ada dis one pasar, dahla tertutup, crowded, xde aircond, yg paling teruk are the people dat love to huff n puff in there. aku dah sakit kepala tahap gaban dah. last2 aku p keluarla, x tahan nk dok kt dlm tuh. byk sgt asap rokok, smpi berjerebu dh.

wlupn x berapa ada duit, aku terbeli jugak baju. dlm pukul 7 gitu, kami pun balik. sesampai je rumah, tgk dah ramai org dtg. mak ndak tgh prepare utk sambut bday ajun. he turns to 9 years old. mak ndak masak nasik minyak, tp yg bestnya mkn ikan tenggiri fresh from the sea. sgt juicy, n the taste is quite something. adala aku amik video, tp guna kamera kak izam. it was a great night sbb nasik tuh mmg sedap. n the cake pun best.

the nxt day, sunday, dlm kol 11 kami bertolak balik. abg jerla yg drive. yg lain passenger aje. we made quite a few stop for the loo. kereta agak byk, sbb weekend kn. ada satu xcident, mercedes terbabas masuk dlm longkang. yg klakanye, xcident lane kanan (headed north), x pasal2 lane kiri yg jammed. x paham betulla org2 malaysia nih, prihatin terlebeh sungguh.

so itula cite pasal kampung. nk cite pasal kak lin pulak. any way, our parent balik the next day, hari isnin. adik yg p amik, memandangkn die skolah kt kliuc. so lps abes exam, terus die ke airport dgn viva mak yg baru berwarna silver. so officially, kelisa to become mine la kot?

mak dgn abah smpi dlm pukul 10. kami pun dh masak, me masak nasi goreng cina. abg die bakar ayam kt luar. smpi hari ni tmpt bakar ayam tuh x kemas lg, haish. so lets hear wat mum have to say bout kak lin condition.

sesampai je mak dgn abh kt jogja, terusla ke hospital. mak ckp ward kak lin tuh cantik sgt. besar, siap extra katil utk sesapa yg menunggu, ada kerusi. sume lengkap utk 1st class la, also sbb ni hospital private. and malaysian student sumenye dimasukkan kt cni, maybe sbb org malaysia nih kaya2 kot hehe.mmg ada hospital universiti kak lin, tp mak ckp, penuh sgt. smpi dkt kaki lima pun ada org terbaring sbb x cukup facilitiesnye. kesian kn? kak linnye condition masa smpi mmg teruk, mak cerita kulit kak lin mmg abis naik ruam, evry inch of her skin have rashes n its extremely itchy. kak lin asyik garu2 smpi luka abis. her eyes pun dah turun to yellow, sgt mcm kucing meaw! kucing kitorg matenye kaler mcm kuning sket. in spite of hospital medicine, mak ada bawak ubat hati yg dikeluarkn oleh al-jabbar. penah dgr? well, ingtkn x mahal, skali beli satu set regenya 1,500. mmg selalu kite dgr, setiap penyakit ada ubatnye. so keadaan kak lin dah semakin sembuh. dah die pun di discharge kn after a few days in hospital. so total cost 7 juta. lebeh kurang 2 ribu setengah duit kite.

bile kak lin dah baik, she had to face her delayed exam. mak ckp kak lin sgt pulun with her study. owh, im so proud of her. she's officially my family doctor nanti, hehe. tapi dkt2 my parent nk balik, abah pulak x sehat. masa smpi, mak x sehat. ni abah pulak. so mak dgn abah pun xla jalan evntho they intended to, terpaksala kensel. abah letih je, n x sabar nk balik rumah. mak pulak asyik risau je. so tibanya hari isnin, my parent hv to say goodbye to kak lin. no worry kak lin, dis july we'll meet kn. by then, kak in nye gaji pun dah masuk, we can hv good time together kn net?

so smpila ke hari nih. x abis lg menanda kertas midterm bebudak nih. geografi aku dah tanda. and the higest mark is 93! congrats to dis student. nak sebut nama ke? mana leh, kn ke confidential gitu. utk sains, well ive done marking the paper 1. ada 3 org dpt full mark, 40/40 well done!! tp paper 2 budak2 ni mcm sgt klaka la. main hantam sajala diorg jawab. haish, evntho im being quite lenient tp, wrong is still wrong kn. xkanla nak bg mark klu salah. itu bengongla namanya kn?

dis weekend mimi ajak jumpa. well, bknnya xnk jupe mie, tp kertas ni x abis lg ditanda. n sbb minyak skrang pun dah naik, nak keluar skrang pun malas. aku dahla x berduit sgt skrang. so mcm mana ek mie? jupe or not jupe? nantila aku inform ko ek mie. sorry for my inconveniences to you mie. sgt da sorry...

since most of you kerja pejabat, mesti x ingt yg dis couple of weeks cuti skolah kn? no worry, minggu ni last cuti. next week skolah akn gamat balik. and lagi gamat bile budak2 ni dpt paper diorg balik. haish, wat everla kn? so till here. dah xde pape dah mau tulis. till next entry ek. have a good day, take great care of your health n your family. stay happy n be happy always =)

A Cross Road, Intersection Or Wat Ever

me again, nak dgr my latest ramblings? meh pasang telinga dan duduk diam2 yea murid2. kang ada yg nk kena rotan kang. yg tiga org kt blakang tuh xleh nk duduk senyap2 ke? awak nk duduk dlm kelas ke nak duduk luar? pilih yg mana awak nak?

hehe, tu dah menjadi mukadimah for my opening speech. asal aku jejak kn kaki dlm kelas, time tula perangai mengada diorg sume keluar. sakit betul, im here as your teacher, not a babysitter. sume mende nk report, die ni kacau saya, die ejek nama bapak saya, die ckp b*b* dkt saya,its like pening pala nk layan sorg2. last2 aku suruh sume duduk bukak buku. sape nk bising get da hell out of my class. lg best diorg kena halau time cikgu disiplin tgh round. hehe, padanla muka. td memekak sgt dlm kelas...

where am i goin wt this ramblings huh? mmg malas nk tulis pasal skolah coz you kno, sgt same' o same' o. balik2 budak yg sama buat hal, jadi dah xde makna nk cite psl diorg nih. buang karan sajelah. tu x cite lg pasal penindasan yg aku sbg org baru kena lalui. heh, penindasan ek? i mean come on la, there's sum stuff dats need to be done altogether. bkn main beban kt sorg je kn. yeah, im not married yet, doesnt have babies, tp dats no xcuse to campak sume on me. anyway, malasla nk cite panjang, wat sakit ati aderla. not to mention if sum1 realy read dis crap blog, x ke naya aku nanti. but whose to say they will? bkn ke kebanyakkn oldies kinda IT blind? heheh....

ape lg yg aku merepek nih? org nk cite pasal mende lain daa... apara, asik membebel psl budak2 nih la pulak. so nk cite mende nih? ape yg cross road sgt nih. well to begin with, boleh x begin dgn aku ckp yg aku asyik kena marah je klu diorg nih offer aku a job? dah couple of time dah kena nih. just now, dis morning sumbody from sumwhere mula2 dgn suara ceria ckp ive got dis (another) gstt offer. alhamdulillah, mmg syukur sgt. klu leh korg recall balik, it was da first intervw for gstt yg aku pegi dulu. sgt x sangka i will make it sbb i really thought i just burn the hall masa intervw. dan die ckp suruh report for duty dis friday which happen to be da speciest day for people like me. tp kn saya dah dapat gstt dkt skolah nih, and dats it intonasi akak tuh lari terus pitching habis. cume yg da best part nk dgr is dat, yg offer ni akn ada kursus n stuff so the potential for me to become a teacher is there. tp do i really wana be a teacher? do i want to work? hehe, no i dont. i like to be SAHW, taking care of my own family, buknnye takin care sum other people kids whose apparently n continuosly to be damn rude to me. baik dok umah jaga, didik n asuh my babies and continusly pray to Allah All Mighty to keep on blessing dis family and to spare and preserve us from any wrongdoings. (jauhkan la kami dari api neraka, mmg x mampu nak tahan seksaan, tp mmg x layak pun ke syurga Mu, sbb perangai x sebaik orang yg sgt baik)

tgk la nih, x abes2 lg nk merapu. jap lg dah nk kena bersiap utk ke skolah. umm, not forgetting dat 2day budak2 nih exam. so xdela sakit sgt tekak aku nk bertekak dgn diorg. i did pray for them to do their best, so tgkla mcm mana result budak2 nih nanti. hrp sgt they wont do dat bad, tp soklan mmg kinda susah. kesian, tp if you did ur home work, you're not being rude to any of your teachers, you studied smart and hard, then im sure success will be yours undoubtly.

kesimpulannya di sini, adakah saya mau accept itu offer. dat kinda of offer only come once in 700++ (ikut kiraan kwn2 ku hari itu) and out of this 700++ only 100 is selected. n im happy to be one of those hundred, i really am. is just dat, sanggup ke my family let me out to the outer limit, er i mean kinda out of town sket tmptnya. will my h2b agree to dis? do i really want dis so bad? do i really a teacher wana be? bcoz once ive made da decision, there's no turning back, only forward. and that isnt the situation i wana be in. thus, lets pray dat i wont make dat huge mistakes as dis concern da people i love. wats more, it involves me. xmo aku pegi tmpt yg i dont know where and scary-mary nih (evntho hari tu i really wana give it all just to be some place far away) i wana be at my home. huhuhuhu.... till here, catch up later. to all, have a very nice day =)

No More Ms. Nice Gurl

hari ni agak mendidih gak darah aku ngadap budak2 nih. apahal la diorg nih degil sgt. smpi aku dah bertukar menjadi monster gle td. smpi aku pun takut dgn diriku sendri. tp diorg x takut pun? penat jer bertukar. umm, memula aku dah terbengang dgn budak2 kelas 2 DK. tp masa tu aku layan jerla ngaja wlupn budak2 nih bising gle. aku p blakang, yg dpn terloncat2. pegi dpn, yg blakang wat dajal. so abis klas tu ada satu lg klas la pulak, 2 TK. diorg ni pun dah kena tempias amarah aku yg td. memula aku dah cool, tp sbb ada seorg dua perangai mcm setan, aku nye temperature mendidih balik. abis satu kelas tuh aku wat x layan. aku suh diorg salin jer dkt white board smpila abis masa. tpkn, ble dah nk balik tuh, budak2 perempuan dtg salam aku sblm diorg balik. aku rasa sgt terharu, wlupn aku dah marah2 pun diorg x bencikn aku. mmgla bukan sume yg suka wat perangai, tp ble dah layan baik2 diorg lagila menjadi2 perangai bangsarnya. ingt, yg aku cerita nih bukan sume perangai mcm tuh. dan bukan niat aku nk marah2 diorg. but sometime the tough should get going on these kids...

so overall, its a tough day today. i know its gonna be tougher tomorrow. facing these kids is a serious business. lets hope i wont tempeleng budak2 nih. who am i kidding? me nak tempeleng diorg? uish, x berani aku, nk dtg dkt diorg pun aku takut sebenanya. sbb diorg ni mmg nmpk bapak gengster. aku yg rasa kerdil dlm kelas tuh. dan selalu aku dibuli jer oleh budak2 nih. haiya, apa mcm mau bikin nih? bikin peduli hapa aku pun orait gak. tp kesianla pulak aku tgk budak2 lain yg nak belajar tuh. x smpi hati nk punish da whole class bcoz of these few brat. i wana be nice to them, but the problem is these brats. they make the whole class suffer. pening pala pk, but dis is the teacher's life. so every one, welcome to the teacher's world; the living hell shall continue...

Waiting Like Pain In The You Know Where

alahai, terasa sgtla lama menunggu nk download movies2 nih. smpi skrang satu pun x siap lg. ni dah lebeh 3 minggu nih. xknla nk on laptop ni 24-7 cam PC. setakat ni dah 6 hari dah x tutup2. maunya mereng dan senget mende nih. td pun ada tanda2 nak majuk dah. sorry, didnt mean to overload you with the download, but me want watch movies!!! me dah lama x pegi tgk movies because hp wont watch movies with me. instead he asked me to go watch with my fwens, gurlfwen only. umm, but i love watchin movies with him, sbb just by sitting next to him makes my world worries-free. so now i want to download all the movies dat ive missed watching them in cinema. tp sgtla lemah gemalai rate die utk download. nampak gaya bape minggu lagi la laptop ni amik OT. wat to do kn, you want it, then suffer!!! - kejam bunyinya...

What A Drama Queen

To begin, rasa malu pulak nk ckp byk2... but here i wud like to admit dat i'm being such a drama queen for a while. i mean, it's not dat long for my hp to back again. tp dats just tipical of me, nak jugak bein such a baby. i thought no one will be interested in reading my thoughts, rupanya i get my cheerleader instead!!! thanks a bunch guys... all the cares means a lot to me, evntho bein so dramatic, turnout dat dis big baby still need dat extra attention... hehe =)

so watsup with da diner thingy ek? da only person who could provide da juicy gossip is for da moment nur adibah binti azhar. tgh promote nih, jadi harap2 hujung minggu ni adala a little sumthg to read and talk about di blognya. sama-samalah kita menunggu apakah kesudahannya....

till here, nanti borak lg. nak turun, mau masak itu mee hoon sup. my mouth suddenly went watery... really got to stop writing. so to all my ever dearest friends, sume-sume my friends, you are the shining stars. eventho you are so far away, your glitters make my dark skies fill with precious diamond. now the song twinkle twinkle little star is playing in my mind non-stop. till later...

Mending Own Heart

What do i do to mend my broken hart? there's no pixies dust and nothing is nice, just pieces of shit. one of my eyes is swollen like a pau, and uve guess it, my tears are like rain falling from the sky. i hate confronting my feeling in open air like this but damn it, it's hard to keep it shut. i don't know to whom i shud turn to, which shoulders to cry on. i know i got my own shoulders, and ive been a tough person all my life, taking care my own self. but dis is one of the time i just felt tired to stand strong, to be tough. now i felt my heart is melting, my brain just whoosh into sponges spaghetti, my body just went numb and all i could hear is dead silence. now that's da depressing we're talking about.

i know 2moro will come and the grand saga will continue. but for this moment, i really could use a big comfy arms to keep me warm through the nite. wait a second, just my luck, i dont have that arms. not yet, not ever. guess i should use my own arms instead which is sucks. i mean, i can provide these arms to others, but yet when i'm in need, there's suppose to be other arms that i cud use. what can i say more, that's da life ive to live for. bein the huge cheerleader for evryone yet to be my own cheerleader when im down. enough chitter chatter, till later...

Stare Back At Me

I just finished staring at my phone, asking myself why bother buyin expensive phone when the only thing i can do with it is staring my eyes out!!! hmm, i wonder what is hp doin now? it's 1.17 am so i know he's asleep. but ive been trying to call him or waiting for him to call, but till now jillo. i understand he's been busy with his work, with his going-away-trip-for-training-far-far-away, but i'm curious about his well-bein. whether he's okay now, had he packed already, have he eaten, the usual stuff dat evry gurlfren/wife/mother worries about. but i guess he's fine. he's always more than fine. it seems dat i'm da baby who doesn't know evrythg whenever i'm with him. but i wana hear his voice 24-7, is dat too much to ask? not much rite =)

hmm, so i guess dis is it. please excuse me, i want to continue staring at my phone again. nite evryone, sweetdreams..

Me and My Big Mouth

This is the biggest reason why i should just stich my mouth shut!!! the reason, when evrytime i said sumthg dat i dont wana do, tend to be dat sumthg is have to do by me. or evn the slightest comment about sumthg, dat sumthg will back fire to me...

for example, umm i did said how much i loathe going to work recently... then walla, i'm going to work this monday... so i will be going to work again, but i'm sure someone will be mad at me for going to work. it's a huge dilemma, i'm in between two chaos decision maker, one side want me not to work, the other side you know what the other side want me to do; to go to work... so as i'm still living under this one side roof, i should do exactly what they want me to do... turn out, this monday i'm going to work. but now, how da heck i'm gona break this news to this one side. i hope this side will understand and give the blessing...

not gonna talk about the work, it's just sumthg to be put in my resume later. i just went to the office, and the boss briefly talk about the work. so we'll see how it goes. i do hope evrythg and every side will be fine and pray for my safety. so enough jumblin, let's talk bout sumthg else...

i just past across dis magnificant gate during my way to the office. the house located at some where Bukit Antara Bangsa. so you may guess whose house is that. i like the gate, it's so unique and the house looking pretty damn awsome. again, enough about the house, i'm sure the house owners can brag about their house themselves. i should not intervene their bragness.

another stories about my big mouth, i never once should comment about anythg or anyone because i will get the consequnces right away. for another example, i should never ever have a slightest thought about others problems. such as their injuries, their condition, or anythg about other people because eventually it will happen to me. i used to slightly say in my heart when i looked at someone and there's a breakout on their faces; next day, boom happen to me. i used to slightly say in my heart this person have eye bag, now i'm having them. and now i have evry skin problem dat evryone had. the strange thing is, i'm the only person in the family whose been having endless skin problems. while none of my family member having any problem. their faces are soft and smooth and i really envy them. but what can i say, me and my big mouth.

so from now on, whenever i have the thought, i just let it go and think of sumthg else. i dont give any damn about others problem any more, i know they can solve it themselves without me thinking about it too much. but now, i'm having a big problem on how to break this working news to my someone nih. i don't know, just do it i guess. wish me luck people...

Need Some Eye Drops

i just come back from clinic and i've a bad news with me... me had a sakit mata and it can infect others near me. so tomorrow got myself an MC, so tak payah pegi sekolahla. i don't want the student having a reason for not coming to school. i think i know i got this sakit mata!!! this afternoon, i went to take a photograph at greenwood. i noticed this guy at the counter who had a red eye. in my heart i say "kesian dier sakit mata". Suddenly i felt a sharp pain in my eye. i neglected the pain and kept on rubbing my eye with the hope that it will be better in a minute. but, unlucky me... it get worst. now at this very moment, i can have a direct eye contact with no one and i have to walk around wearing my glasses. my eye doesn't hurt much and saya redhala dapat sakit mata ni. but i do hope that my eye will be better soon...