A Lil Sumthg Sumthg =)

hmm, its been a while again since the last post. once the mood is up, i can post up to 4-5 entries in one go, only that i made them scheduled. so it seems like i write every single day w/o fail. but when the mood is down the drain, hence no writing at all. i don't know, lately my emotions are running wild, untamed easily. so the best way to keep those emotions calm, is simply by doing nothing at all. nothing as in, just let it go, let it run for a lil bit, then when it calmed down, it will come back to me i guess...

what an intro la?! Ola everyone, assalamualaikum. how's everyone doing? hope that everyone is doing great. we're doing great too. but still missing kamula net, and everyone at home. sigh, i wish i can be at two places at once. i want to be there, but my place is here. my only wish now is to have a superglue or sumthg to stick this two places up so dat i wont feel dat i have to tear myself apart. what am i mumbling about da?

so for the last post, it's just sumthg out my mind boggling. and my messy heart. thanks elly and net for keeping me calm a lil bit. i guess being a mother does dat to me. always in a worry mode, always think im no good to si kecil, always with da IABM going on, always wana be da best but dont kno how to be da best, always feel like a looser when i can't calm si kecil da way hp did, always have a nervous break down when si kecil fall. throw up. cries. put sumthg in his mouth. basically im just worried i can't be a mother dat zairil wishes for. of course for now he couldn't speak his mind yet, so i don't know whether he likes me or not. but when he finally does, i don't know if i could stop my tears from falling when he says dat he hates me =(

but for now, i am working my bass off to cater all his needs, to give him a lot of hugs and kisses, to be his clown, to cook his foods, to wash his cd, to bath and play bubbles with him, to sing him songs, to catch him when he about to fall, to make him laugh, to make him smile, hopefully when he grow up, he will open his arms and give me the biggest hugs of all and beam me those smiles that i carry with to sleep.

datsal i have to say. to uncluttered what bothered me once in a while. ok, more than once in a while. but for now, i think i'm good. i am doing good. alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for everything that You've given me. You are the Greatest ever!!!

A Lil Sumthing

assalamualaikum... it's been a while now i haven't write in 'proper' writing i must say. always in a rush. nak bagi salam pun x menyempat. guess dis is da price for having si kecil in da house. so how's evryone doing so far? despite of wat's goin on in da middle east, and a hartwrenching disaster dat happened in japan, my prayers is for evryone to be safe and a lil happiness goes a long way kan?

ok, umm for dis post... umm, i just wana write sumthg dat to me, yes it will make me sound like a terible mother, some ungrateful piece of meat. but its like, it did bug me once a while and i hope dat my writing wont be jugde. so read me out kay, read with your eyes, nothing else but with your eyes...

okay, once a while... maybe more than once a while, i felt like arghhh whyla my mind always have dis menyampah thoughts. and i hate it when it just blurt out of my mouth, and later i regret talking bout it. its like, tolong bersyukur boleh x? tapi kan, nak jugak ada tapinya and i hate having this burden thought of mind. so please la, please la go away and just be grateful already!!!

ni ape ni? what is it la dat im trying to say ni actually? i dunno, its hard to explain in word really. macam ditelan, x best. diluah pun sama jugak x best. lain kali janganla makan hati, makan angin kan best. boleh jugak menghirup udara yg best. umm hello?! yg byk membebel ni kenapa? wah sungguh byk betul dah bebel panjang2 ni, tp tak tertulis jugak apa yg nak ditulis yea, hmm...

ok, tu jerla nak tulis. just by writing a bit of all this makes me feel some what, lighten up?!! i'm sorry, it's just that somtimes i need to write some garbage in here. sorry for deluded your mind with my ntahapehapeness. this momma need some space to fill in some garbage outta her mind.

sorry, i promise i will write something better for the next post kay. i just need some time before i can finally write what really bothered me for the time being. accept this ntahapehapeness as an entree post before i could really write about what i really want to write.

so take care evryone. i wish for evryone's happiness and pink of health. don't forget to drink lots of water and smile like always. assalamualaikum...

Why London Bridge Is Falling Down?!!!

dis post is joining dibah tagging tagla. ok tak semua jawapan yg telah diberikan wahai cik dibah yang comel manis sekali nih?

1. Do you sing in the shower? I can't sing nowadays. nanti itu budak kecik siapa yg nak tolong tgkkan?! mandi skrang setakat cukup syarat sahaja =p

2. What song? No songla, x sempat nak bukak mulut, si kecil yg meraung dulu =D

3. Do you believe in love at first sight? Of course =)

4. What was the name of your first pet? noyah, itu pun abang yg bg nama, and it's his cat. tp boleh usap2 klu nak and klu x gaduh dgn dia time tuh bolehla pegang2 noyah.

5. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema? shrek 4, si kecil pun masuk for about 4 minutes, then hp bawak zairil keluar.

6. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? dubai

7. Are you a morning person or a night owl? night owl

8. Do you always wear a seatbelt? only when ada polis n kena marah dgn mak or abah

9. What is your ringtone? umm, tylor swift - our song

10. What curse word do you use the most? bungok betullah

11. Flip flops or sneakers? selipar color merah - so i guess its a flip flop?

12. What color is your room? plain white

13. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? depends, nowadays less than 4 hours pun dah boleh function, tp mmg cranky jugakla sambil melayan si kecil

14. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? nope, as long as da sentence sounds like you're talking in real life, ayat suka hati pun best jugak. tp x sukala ayat short form budak2 skrang, sgt x paham nak baca. pening pala betul!?

15. Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back? both of my side

16. What is your favorite TV show? ANTM, The Kardashians, Giuliana&Bill, Kimora, Mel-B, Sugar.

17. What is the weather like? Cloudy with da chance of rainin

18. Are you shy around the opposite sex? nowadays malu terlebih. ntah hape2. dgn kawan2 pun sgt malu2 dah. maybe sbb dah lama x jumpa, so its kinda awkward jer bile got da chance to meet them.

19. How often do you remember your dreams? i wish i didn't remember my dreams, bcoz lately sgtla asyik nightmare je. sgt scary =/

20. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? i guess so coz i always did sumthg "interesting" to be talked bout. x kesah nak cakap pape pun, janji semua happy sudahlah.

Tagging Goes To:

• Elly
• Aton
• Wanie
• Wafaa
• Aandes
• Baby Gina
• BellaDonna
• MawarRosey
• LyssaBobyssaMomyssa

~ Currently ~

• wana eat pretzel mcm dlm cite Juno. da pretzel is so huge and yummy looking.
• wana eat rambutan dkt rumah mak, sgt sedap.
• wana eat kueh lopes.
• wana eat kueh lapis.
  
• wana eat pulut dgn kelapa dgn ikan masin.
• wana eat karipap mak buat.
• wana eat donut mak buat.
• wana eat kek tiramisu.
• wana eat laksa mak buat.
  
• wana eat mac n cheese. ari tuh try buat sendri, endup da smell is like puke and wasted my whole two hour try to make it eatable. last2 buang dalam tong sampah, wat a waste.

• having pain like hall bcoz of my legs. sgt rasa mcm nak tercabut and i cudnt stand for too long.
• asyik masak kari; kari ikan, kari ayam, kari ikan balik, then kurma ayam, then kari ayam some more. wat a high calorie diet la nih ain...
• periuk yg mak bg dah tercabut dienye telinga, both side pulak tuh. now periuk itu telingaless. and maknye tupperware lid ari tuh sumhow terendup termasuk dlm telingaless periuk itu dan dimasak bersama-sama kari ayam. sgt magic da lid x cair pun evntho it's in boiling pot! tp da shape sgt weird looking and i had to masak da kari alover again. we dnt wana risk makan plastic. now, ive to find a replacement tupperware for mak = '( hopefully adala design lebey kurang sbb tupperware tuh dah lama sgt dah, around 17 years and still leh pakai lg. tp skrang tidak lg...
  
• my external hard disk rosak, and i kinda broke pc dkt office nih. evn i have it degree, technically i dont wana learn pun da technical part of computer. usually, klu pc rosak jer, bgtau hp and he will repair it for me. rite now, hp accesing da hd and transfer from pc to black box, and pc nih pun hp dah repairkn. thank god, thank you hunny =)
  
• hyper sensitive and ultra emo. da other day, hp asked me to cepat sket pakai telekung untuk smbhyg, i end up crying tears falling like a stream. funny, i guess i try very hard to seek for attention, wat a baby sheesh...
• my first trimester feeling such as wana throw up by any smelly thingy, kepala pening, and all dat is coming back. is dat normal?
  
• tetiba terjeles with my unborn baby bcoz of all da attention she will get from her daddy, ntah hape2 i kno. i hope dis is all just hormon thingy goin on here. ain, plz stop it before it deluded your mind.
• excited kaklin nak balik dis coming friday! it's short, but hopefully we can see each other eyh, miss you like crazy already. dtgla rumah kakin tawu...
• still didnt kno da gender of my lo, but im wishing for my lil gal, so i think it's a gal we're having =)
• happy with all da progress and new things happening dkt rumah mak. ada kolam ikan abah buat, dah letak tar sket dpn rumah, ada stove baru, ada perabot baru and currently renovating da toilet. im constantly worried about mak, but with new things happening around da house, hope it will make mak happy and content with evrythg.
• praying mak, abah, naim n bb dapat pegi umrah dis coming february like already planned. again, hoping evryone will be happy and have a good time performing their prayers.
• my upper right tummy till now felt so numb bcoz of da movement of lo. sgt kuat, and sumtimes i asked her to slow down and suruh dier take a nap. it really hurt evrytime she moves, i end up teary and buat muka kesian dkt hp. but looking @ pitiful hp face, terus sakit td hilang. he's so sweet =)
• seeing evrythg hp does, talks and evrythgla sgt comel. his comel smile, his comel face, to which hp reply, im having chronic baby longing syndrome. so pathetic, i kno...
• my belly is growing huge!!! tp a bit dissapointed sbb da belly button didnt pop up pun. hp said, dats my measurement of pregnant belly and wat it took to convince myself dat im pregnant. yup, dats so true but now seeing my big belly and how hard lo moves, im convince enough im pregnant.
• my tummy keep on tightening on and off all day. sumtimes it lasted 2-3 minutes, dat longest is 15 minutes. da pain is bearable, but hp always make a worried look dat made me lagila mengada and acted mcmla sakit sgt, muahaha, attention seeker betulla kamu nih ain...
• cant be apart from hp for a longer period. sgt buat mopy and droopy face evrytime he wana go to anywhere, be it to da office or pegi kedai dpn nih. sume nak ikut. endup, he bring me to his office and i get to be with him 24/7. i kno, im super clingy nowadays, hopefully my lo wont copy dis spoiled mummy =(
• my favourite words are 'amau' or 'anak'. for example, hp said 'habiskan nasik tuh, tinggal sket jer lagi' or 'minum susu sampai abis' or 'dah makan ubat dah' or 'byk x minum air hari nih' to gladly i replied 'amau, anak' if he keep on insisting me to eat/finish sumthg, i endup throwin a bit tantrum and he just smile. seeing him smile, made me felt stupid, and i did wat he asked me anyway. wats wrong with me nih?

so, dis is my current ramblings for da time being. sgt ntah hape2, plz excuse dis super ultra emo and sensitive x bertempat mummy to be nih. praying dat dis whole drama queen thingy wont spread and grow on my lo. but i think, im okay now. dah x clingy sgt, and i can leave hp alone without bugging him so much. temporary mood swing i guess. will write some more, but nanti2 la, if i felt like doing so. take care evryone, assalamualaikum...

Brain Simulating...

after all has been said and done... terasa sgt klaka la pulak baca entry yg lepas, pasal budak2 berperangai syaiton tuh. wat ever, unless you apologize, truly apologize, then ure forgiven. klu x, haram...

not in da time to write actually. supposely i shud be sleeping rite now, but i didnt. i kno h2b gona be furious, but i cudnt shut my eyes. my brain is simulating continuosly. so before i cud realy lay my eyes to rest, im stuck rite here...

umm, dis post is suppose to make the later post dissapear from the top. i keep terreading bout it, and it made me darn furious at those budak2 kapla biola. so rather than keep feeling upset, better do sumthg bout it rite?

orite, enuf bluff. back to sleep people. nite2 evryone. gud mornin! hope today will be a fresh start of the week. assalamualaikum...

=D

yello lemmo... ape punya greeting daa? ntah, hantam sajalah. umm, xde cite pape yg best pun hari nih. but its a good morning n a good afternoon. so hey, why not blog? psycho jer lebeh ek...

umm, pg td makcik kasma n pakcik sulaiman dtg. lama juga diorg dtg melawat. which is so great sbb rumah kami nih pun x selalu menerima kunjungan. yg selalu dtg akhir-akhir ini pun adalah h2b. dis weekend nih pun insyaAllah h2b dtg lg, nk abiskn mengecat. cptla dtg weekend, boleh jumpa h2b lg =)

so esoknya its gona be my interview day. argh, malasnya nak membaca n prepare for tomoro. main blasah jerla jawab esok, boleh x? i mean, kekadang baca pun bukannya soalan itu yg mereka tanya kn? so from stressing over nothg, better i do sumthg more fun!

wish me for tomoro. im havin me cold feet. n da butterflies. n da shivers. n da wat ever feeling i had inside...

nmpk sgt mcm bosan nk menaip kn? klu bosan, xyahla nk membebel2kn kt cni kn? so enuf membebel already. pila baca2 sket for tomoro. prep for tomoro. rest for tomoro. wat ever for tomoro...

will write some more for tomoro. so i hope tomoro will be a good tomoro. see you tomoro. come wat may tomoro...

=D

~ Berita Hari Ini ~

Gombak - Seekor hemo-hemo telah didapati hilang dari kondo disebabkan kecuaian suspek yang berusia 12 tahun dan 26 tahun. Kejadian berlaku sekitar pukul 3.00 pagi - 9.30 pagi, di mana kehilangan hemo-hemo tersebut disedari apabila suspek pertama melihat kondo tersebut. Setelah suspek meninjau keadaan kondo, didapati seekor daripada hemo-hemo telah pun hilang.

Pihak penyiasat sedang menjalankan penyiasatan rapi di kawasan sekitar kondo. Bagaimanapun kes ini diklasifikasikan sebagai kehilangan mengejut dan pihak penyiasat tidak menolak kemungkinan kes ini diakibatkan oleh kecuaian. Suspek bagaimanapun tidak dijatuhkan sebarang hukuman, melainkan senyuman dan gelengan kapla selama 20 minit dan juga bebelan manja. Suspek diminta berhati-hati dan memberikan perhatian yang lebih serius buat hemo-hemo yang ada.

Saksi kejadian diminta tampil untuk memberi keterangan lanjut. Sila hubungi talian 1-300-hemo-hemo jika ingin melaporkan kejadian terbabit - tiada nama

Berita terkini - sehingga kini hemo-hemo tersebut masih belum dijumpai. Diharapkan agar hemo-hemo tersebut dapat meneruskan kehidupan dengan baik.

Membebel Pasal Budak2 ni

baru jer lps tgk back-to-back cite gossip girl season 2. yea kawan2, season 2 sudah keluar, marilah kite mendownload beramai2. aku pun tataula pasal la xcited sgt nk tgk cite ni. i mean bukannya ada value sgt pun, more towards 18sx je contentnya, isi cite jillo. tp wat can i do, i just fall in love with blair. yea, mmg blair put itch in b*itch, tp i knew dat deep down she's sweet n kinda adorable. aper2 la blair, janji characternya xkan menjadi lebih itchy sudah. mau kena reject dari terus nonton nanti.

aperhal la membebel pasal blair ni? sedangkn mmg xde cite nk tulis. cuma while blog reading td, i came across many stories bout you guys. some of us faces certain lost, yet some of us celebrate the new beginning of their life. again, it all just fall rite into places, the big wheel made its full rotation, the circle of life shall continue...

some may face sadness, some may glee with joys. wat bout me? im doing alrite, not dat much but still alrite. masih lagi bernafas walaupun td dah mcm sesak napas. not dat im complaining, tp saya kn dah kena wat final paper utk moral, kena tambah lagi satu ke? aduhai, ni yg mcm saket nk kena ketuk nih. xde ke org lain yg lebeh berkaliber utk wat soklan final ni? xknla saya budak yg baru nk belajar kena buat? nmpk sgtla nanti soklan2 nye akn jadi senang x hengat hehe. saya seorang guru yg agak bermurah hati, td tandakan folio geografi ramai yg dpt 50/50. asal ada isi, (sume cikgu dah suapkn, siap buatkn ayat utk diorg, isi sume dah kasi cantek, tinggal nk tulis balik jer wahai anak2 muridku yg dikasihi sekalian, korang nk ape lg ni? apesal malas jugak nk hantar lg nih? x brape nk pahamlah cikgu, pening pala bile pk pasal korang nih, aiseh sori termembebel jap) sume bg full mark. tgk betapa cikgu nk sume dpt markah bagus utk final, tp kenapala korang buat ntah hape2. aduhai, sedeh bile pk pasal budak2 ni.

tapi, x semuala yg dapat full marks. yg teruk tu, terukla. tp so far belum ada lg yg dpt 30 ke bawah. cume nmpk sgtla bezanye zaman dulu dgn skrang. skrang mmg cikgu2 sume bersuap, sbb klu x suap, selagi x masuk dlm mulut, diorg haram xkn buat. seriously, diorg doesnt careless. dpt kosong pun so wat? ada sorg budak ni ckp kt cikgu. mana x mcm nk kena lempang je muka tu kn? masalahnya klu ko nk dpt kosong pun so wat (back at ya!) and da hell dat i care? tp im forced to care bcoz ure my students. ure my responsibilities!!! kamu adalah amanah saya, cikgu kena pastikan kamu siapkn kerja kamu, kamu kena berdisiplin utk menyiapkn tugasan kamu, kamu kena bertanggungjawab di atas kerja kamu. klu sekarang kamu pun dah mula buat perangai, dah malas nk buat tugasan kamu, mcm mana kamu nk survive utk 10-15 tahun yg akan datang. kerja akn datang silih berganti, mampu ke kamu nk settle kn sume kerja kamu klu dari sekarang dah malas nk buat kerja? mcm mana nak cope dgn assignment yg menimbun, report yg kena hantar, i mean kamu xnk masuk unversiti ke? xnk kerja yg bagus? setakat pass PMR and dats it? dats da end of your life? lepas tu nk jadi ape? mat rempit, mat pit, mat pukul org?

sgt membebel kn cikgu nih? slalunya aku membebel pun xla panjang sgt sbb setiap kali nak ceramah je rasa nak nanges, mcm kesian sgt terbayangkn masa depan diorg nih. yeah, i cant tell their future but i know where they are heading, straight to da drain with their brain. susah sketla budak2 skrang, mcm xde kesedaran dlm diri sendiri. sume kena marah dulu baru nk bergerak. mcm klu x kena marah, diorg ni xleh buat keje sendiri. homework kena membebel baru nk siapkn, baru nk hantar. ape diorg ingt membebel tu hobi aku ke?

at first, aku treat budak2 ni mcm style lecturer la. i gave them a lil bit of freedom. i write notes on board b4 xplain to them. so they hv 2 choices, 1 boleh buat nota sendiri dkt rumah, another 1 klu dah salin nota aku diorg dh selamat, xdela keje rumah lg dah. i know, aperla sgt notes, xpayah nota pun rmi jer yg score. tp kena ingt yea 10% drpd final dtg dr nota dgn latihan, nak xnk kamu kena buat. so end up budak2 mmg nk kena ketukla, dgn buku xde, buku teks x penah bawak, latihan x payah ckpla. mmg suci murni jer buku tu, xde contengan langsung. ya tuhan, mana aku x ngamuk, x membebel. skrang sume aku treat mcm budak kecik jerla, kena membebel baru buat.

ok fine, im new in this. i realy thought i wana make learning as much fun as posible. i wana treat them good, xnk marah2, xnk membebel2 ni. tp the more linient i tend to be, makin lemak kepala mereka ini. so adakah ini caranya nk kena mengajar? asyik nk kena marah memanjang? aiseh mmg kesianla mcm ni. x smpi hati asyik nak buat bad mood. (when im not in bad mood dat is) tp yg buat aku x paham kn, wlupun aku dh marah diorg tahap gaban pun diorg masih lg ckp aku baik. so agaknya mcm mana la diorg kena marahkn? lg teruk ke? kesian kn? tp kamu jugak yg jahat, kan dah kena marah.

aiyo, membebel ke mana hala ntah dah ni. aku mcm nila hari2 ngadap budak2 ni. aku tawu diorg ni x abis2 memanjang nkkn perhatian. tp mintala cara baik2, siapkn keje sekolah, x byk ckp, x byk songeh, kn ke happy je dlm kelas. ini buku xde, homework x siap, sape yg x hari2 minum air sirap? so overall, aku xdela menyinga je dgn diorg. mana yg boleh dilayan aku layanla. klu yg x boleh pki, itu yg menduga sket iman di dada ni. tgh tahan sabar je supaya pelempang x naik di muka budak itu.

oklah, dah pjg sgt menaip ni. pening pala baca entry nih. again, saje jerla membebel dkt korang, supaya korang sume paham yg cikgu ni manusia yg at the edge of her limit. sket jer lg nk bertukar kepada incredible hulk. asyik bykkn bersabar dlm hati, klu dah x sabar sgt mulala cikgu nk nanges. cikgu xdela nanges dkt dpn budak2, x macho la kan, so cikgu nanges dkt surau.

smpi cni saje wat kali ni. yea mmg pjg sesi meluahkn perasaan pada kali ni. klu cikgu yg tersilap kata, cikgu minta maaf. klu kamu yg tersilap kata mcm mana? hmm, pandai2 la kamu minta maaf yea. till here, selamat berpuasa, jaga diri dan bersedekahlah dgn senyuman, x banyak sket pun jadila kn =)

Pichas...

Nie ha, adela sket2 gambar yg mau dipostkn. asyik ceritera jer kn, so kali nih cikgu bg visual aid gitu. so sambil tgk gambar, cikgu explain. klu x faham, boleh angkat tangan, cikgu akn terangkn lebeh detail yea. btw, gudluck and all da best utk ujian julai yg akn bermula esok!!!

gambar kt sebelah ni masa budak2 sebok buat eksperimen PEKA utk pendulum. tgkla, sempat lg nk berposingkn? janji dah siap sume report tu, cikgu pun dah x pening kepala dah. aku dah ckp yg aku akn postkn gmbr2 diorg, they doesnt seem to mind, seronok lagi adalah =D

yg ni group budak2 lelaki pulak. barula nmpk mcm tgh buat eksperimenkn? budak2 perempuan kt atas tu, kekadang nakalnye, ya rabbi!!! sakit kepala nak layan budak2 nih...

gambar ni pun letak jugakla. kang kata cikgu pilih kasih kan, asyik layan bangsa sendiri ajer. cikgu bukan mcm itu yea murid2, sumenye cikgu layan. cuma budak2 yg mcm palat je cikgu malas nak layan.

ni pulak gambar masa hari mesra pelanggan. sume tgh tunggu ibu bapa masing2 mengambil kad laporan. ni budak2 perempuan, gmbr lps ni adalah gmbr budak2 lelaki

ni adalah gambar budak2 lelaki. tak semua yg ada sbb ada ibu bapa yg dah dtg, dan ada yg pegi camping.

jadi ini adalah sebahagian gmbr budak2 yg cikgu ajar. sebenarnya ni gmbr budak2 kelas yg sama. kelas yg lain2 x sempat nak amik sbb asyik kena marah diorg je, asyik kena membebel suruh diam. jadi harap maafla sbb ada gmbr budak2 satu kelas ni sahaja.

so there you go, here's a sneak peak of our activities at skool. i shud probably make a video where i raise my voice and start yelling at these brats, tgk aksi cikgu ganas di skolah, muahahahahaha.

tp hari ni mcm slack sket. aku bengang gak klu dapat relief at a free time where i shud pray. ni dari masuk asar smpi nk abis asar ada kelas. mmg xde dasar langsung. so td aku curi masa utk solat asar kejap. smbhyg pun x menyempat sbb nk ke kelas seterusnya. dasar budak2 &*%$#, diorg bergaduhla pulak dalam kelas. kak H yg tolong settlekn sblm aku smpi ke kelas. i know its my bad, i shud hv come earlier, tp mind me, i wud rather face a thousand death daripada nk lewatkn sgt smbhyg. aku bukanla alim, tp tolongla kn, leave my space alone utk solat. time dah nk dkt maghrib xknla baru nk smbhyg kn? watevrla, td aku complain jugak, tp jawapannya, nak buat mcm mana. sakit jap kepala, i mean cikgu2 silala jgn amik cuti or asyik ada urusan luar. klu kerja lain, org tu mc ke watever, org lain xdela terasa sgt bebannya. ni klu sorg cikgu mc/watever, dah kena dapat relief. kinda suck giler, i just hate having to relief others. so note to self, jgn mc unless ure really in need. kesian mereka2 yg dah byk sgt kelas itu kena reliefkn.

itu sahaja complain dari saya, overall its a crazy day. how crazy its gonna get tomorrow? we'll see =D for da mean time, just pretend and act like ure having fun, bcoz eventually you will =)

Speechless Is Priceless

Klaka sgt tgk reaction org yg tercaught ngumpat behind my back, or is it on my face? ahaha, i really dont mind ur tongue, by all mean i can save you guys a trip to hell kn? its ok, no harm is done, non is taken any way. but sgt klaka and definitely priceless to see the aftermath afterward.

dis is definitely not the first time i heard these whispers. i just keep quiet and yeah, it hurt. tp wat can i do bout it, as if i can shove their mouth with shit or something. but the point is dat i heard them and instead of them getting their ticket to hell by mengumpat, i save them. see how heroic i am? hehe...

so no offense, tak kesah sebenarnya klu kamu nk ckp pape pun. sbb saya punya telinga ni telus, masuk kiri keluar kanan. tp ni smpi demam2, muka kelat memanjang, i mean wats da point? im fine jer, still happy mappy. klu rasa bersalah sgt, minta maaf lah. ni x jugak mintak maaf. nk suruh saya yg mintak maaf dulu ke? mintak maafla, bukannya saya yg mengumpat awak. so why do i have to be the bigger person and initiate the so-called forgiveness?

the truth about me, under the star of libra, guess i am much equal in evrythg. if you hurt me, dasarnya you must be hurt back. but im not da kind of person who like to see people get hurt. so da hurt either you do it yourself, or most probably someone else hurt you back. bukankah roda itu selalu berpusing. dan bukankah the saying goes; wat you give is wat you get?

kesimpulannya di sini, dan pengajaran yg akn saya tanam dalam hati adalah, jaga mulut kalau takut masuk neraka. klu x jaga, mmg confirm akn ke neraka without a doubt. jadi, wlupun zahirnya saya x ucapkan maaf, tp sebelum tidur saya make sure saya akn maafkn semuanya. bukankah rasulullah sendiri pemaaf orangnya. jadi, siapalah saya utk tidak memaafkan org? tambahan pula saya juga 247 x lekang dgn dosa, samada sedar atau tidak. jadi, dgn bermaafan kita akn perolehi kemaafan.

nantila sambung borak. ada lg nk cite, tp nanti2 la. bukan niat nk bertangguh, tp ada sesuatu yg perlu diberi perhatian terlebih dahulu. sekian, jaga diri, jaga kesihatan...

Naive ke Klaka? hehe...

dis week budak2 nih pekse. since tekak pun x baik lg, dgn batuknya, dpt jugakla berehat drpd melontarkn suara utk mengaja budak2 nih. anyway sgt klaka tau bile budak2 nih jawab paper 1. byk budak2 yg tanya pasal satu soklan yg aku rasa nk tergelak bile budak2 lelaki pun tanya soklan nih.

soklan mende eh? hehe, ada satu soklan. soklan tu die bg gambarajah. and budak2 kena jawab apakah mende itu. sume budak ckp ni mcm berudu cikgu, tp xde pun jawapan berudu. aku sgt nk tergelak tp maintain jela. aku suh budak2 nih pk sendri. bknnya x penah ajar, dlm latihan pun dah buat. diorg nih je yg x reti2 nk baca kt umah. so today, aku dah dpt surat tawaran utk gstt ni. ble dah setel sume lehla merasa gaji cikgu yg sebenar. orite till later. owh, btw in advance i wud like to wish my mum, fizah and all the teachers, "HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY" where we get a day off from yelling, i mean teaching hehe

To Be Truth

mmg dah lama tgn nih nk menaip sesuatu yg baru di sini, tp pala ckp: nantila, len kali la, malasla. so in the end, tara papa mau taruk di sini. tp kali ni my hart felt that's been a little too long didn't write, so y not, lets write shall we?

umm, overall dis couple of weeks mcm berat sket rasanya. bukan pasai apa, asik2 kena wat brochure, balik2 brochure. naik fedup aku menengoknya. mcmla mende lain x penting utk dibuat, org bknnya nk nilai brochure sahajala, duh!!! so far, aku dah tolong watkn 10 keping brochure, itu x campur yg edit2 lg tuh. i mean, dis thgy is just sumthg to display a lil bit tiny winy yet powerful n informative n compact info bout ur org,ur biz. sp pahal la nak taruk byk2, pasal la nk wat byk2. x releven langsung!!!

dan paling aku bengang skali, evrytime they look at my work akn muncul soklan, dulu amik course ape? IT jawabku. jawab mereka pula: padanla.apa yg padannya makcik2 woit! dulu kt unibersiti dulu mana ada blaja mende ni sume. kena blaja sendiri tahu? apa? x tahu jugak? meh sini, lemme kick ur lazy asses makcik2 yg mmg kekadang tahap cipan nye yg lebeh itu...

dan ada a few incident yg well, to be frank, i love if people give me works. byk2 pun xpe, sbb aku mmg suka sgtla tolong makcik2 hampagas ini. tp evertime diorg lambakkan kerja mereka itu (yg patut dah buat lama dah tp asyik menangguh je kejenya) diorg tend to have dis membengangkn n so irritating habit to say, leganya settle keje aku on my face!!! i mean, tolongla wahai puan-puan yg budiman, ur work may be settle (sbb korang dah lmbk kt aku tdkn?) tp my living hell is just started makciks. so jgnla nk buat hatiku panas membakar tulang sum-sum ku itu. plzhv the tendency to at least care 4 my fragile eyes (yg pasti akn memburn my midnite oils smpi lebam mataku ini) ni tidak, asyik menjaga perut diorg sajala.

another favorite word of the day setelah lambakkan keje diberikan padaku adalah: xpe, dia (aku la tuh) bukan ada apa nk buat kt umah pun. i mean, hello!!! aku pun p skolah jugak, work da hours like u did n ingt lps balik dari menjerit memekak satu ptg x penat ke. aku ngaja ank org, bkn ngaja bkn ank org. klu ckp sepuluh kali mana nk paham. kena ckp doploh kali itu pun belum tentu masuk pala diorg lg. n ble blk umah, ingt aku terus cium... terus cium katil, terus cium bantal ke. aku kena cium dapur dulu. nk tolong mak masak diner.nk ajar adik aku wat keje skolah lg, nk baca blog org lg, nk gosok baju lg. pg esok lak, sblm p skolah kena sidai kain dulu, lipat kain dulu, masak lunch dulu. so bile masanya aku ada masa utk tidak membuat apa2 dkt rumah? jadi tolongla ble berckp pandang2, ble membebel tolong diam.

gosh dis is a suck entry. tp dis is wat i felt like talking to sum1. i mean, i cnt shove dis all to those makciks, sbb x smpi hati aku nk melukakn perasaan org yg lebeh tua dariku. tp tolongla menyayangi hati dan perasaan org yg lebeh muda dari mu. i love to help you guys, but please help me first by considering ur words instead of blurting them all out. kang x pasal muka mu dihinggapi pelempang yg ayu dari ku. enough said, dis is my othr side of me. yg sgt kejam, ganas menaip. yg ckp dah xde pki penapis. dis is wat happen when u let loose a sleeping lion within. she just stock whoevr prey infront of her, in dis case u bloggie n for sure those whose been silently reading this death trap... im not sorry n never will be sorry for all this nonsense, to be truth...

When Makciks Gone Mad

Baru jer lps tgk 4 blogs, sumenye xde cite baru. akunye pun xde cite baru... sume yg dah suam. so kali nih cite gakla pasal Hari Wanita yg aku p dgn family 25 Ogos yg lps. dah mmg suam sgt cite nih pun, so malasla nk tulis dgn excited. tp yg nk jadikn sbb utk diceritakan ni pasal "When Makciks Gone Mad" sbb according to my observations, women tend to be stupid or perangai serupa beruk mak yeh is when men isnt around. so adala makcik2 yg serupa tak berupa orang berperangai mcm i dunno, really malas nk mencarut2 dalam blog nih. i felt ashamed and embarassed by looking at them. betul2 ruined my first concert, yup my ever first live concert i've ever been to. tp it was a fun day for my family. even ma' pun seems to enjoy herself inspite the makcik incident. i mean, taula excited dapat jupe M. Nasir, Anuar Zain and all the other artists tp ni smpi terkinja2 dgn diorg siap peluk cium artis2 itu, i really mean get a grip la makcik2 oii. ingt sikit tuhan klu x ingt laki dgn anak2 dkt rumah tu. dahla tinggalkn tangunggjawab hari tu just to "celebrate" hari wanita, ni dah smpi buat dosa pulak. really, hilang mood and respect utk makcik2 yang dah separuh abad hidup nih. ingtkan lagi tua, lagi senonoh tp i guess dis is da price for living in the new millenium... dah hilang sifat malu, dah hilang maruah diri... but i really just dont get it...

so overall da day was okayla... lps abis round2 dkt Bukit Jalil tuh, p dkt Tugu Negara... believe it or not, adik2 saya x penah pi tempat2 historical lg. diorg lg suka lepak dkt rumah rather than jalan2 berpeleseran tak tentu arah. dats why ma' pun x pening pala sbb anak2nya x suka keluar rumah sgt. Tugu Negara hari tuh ramai orang, sbb masa tu pun dah nak Hari Merdeka, byk family yg bwk anak diorg. budak2 kecik2 tuh sume excited tgk tugu smbil buat tabik spring. dis is it for this entry, but im wondering bile alergic elly to the techno nak abis... really miss her story...

Running Scared

Umm... i'm scared to even open my blog because writing at my own mind might get me into trouble, is it? to think some one could go to prison just by stating their mind into words, this is scary for some one like me, who just babble without thinking much... so there's a saying in elly blog goes like this...

"Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character, they become destiny. Source: Back of book cover of Pearls of Wisdom 3"

scared or not, whenever i wanna write, i just type right on... is not like everybody in the world gonna read it, as if many will accidentally open this blog... for sure, all my best buddies are the only people who "enjoy" my writing... but really, thanks gurls for reading my mind and i hope you all with post latest news that happen around. till here, got some work and some reading to do... cheerio my fella fwen

Same 'O Same 'O

Allo, aiyo... lamanye x tulis pape kt sini. eventho there's a lot of things happening around me last month tp up till this new month still no writing jugak... aperla... tp kini, sesudah tersedar dari lamunan, ku gagahi jua menaip barang sepatah dua ratus...

umm, for this month, which is on July... klu x silapla... setelah beberapa tawon, sepatutnya termaktub Perjanjian NoName... dulu masa kecik2 dulu, adala beberapa orang nih yg duduk kat belakang kt kelas 2A1, time BM kot tak silap, oleh sebab penyampaian cikgu yg tak didgr, bukan sbb x best, tp tataula... kitorg 4 worang telah buat satu Perjanjian yg dinamakan Perjanjian NoName... al-kisah perjanjian budak2 nih, takla gempak mana pun... tp takyahla nk bitau cni, sbb bukannya best sgt pun... overall nye, pada 31hb Julai 2007, pada pukul 4.30 pm kitorg 4 orang sepatutnya jupe balik kat kelas 2A1, blok F kat SMK Gombak Setia... tp aku pun tataula samada diorg nih ingt ke tidak... wlubagaimana pun, klu xde pape hal, kol 4.30 tuh insya allah aku akan pacakkan diri kt situ, tunggu dalam sejam... klu tada sapa yg muncul, aku balikla umah... da best thing bout this, if i play it right, i got to keep my promises dat ive made for about 11 years!!! hehe, promises mende ek? adala, hanya member2 ini saja yg tau... so kinda looking forward for this meeting, reunion wat ever to be called... hope everything will go quite as planned la...

another reunion yg aku tau adala utk ex-MRSMKP, ni elly yg bitau... tp apa dienye detail sume tara tau... reunion mrsmkp nih sebenanye im not looking forward sgt, sbb bile dah jupe2 nih, mestila kena bercerita2 and i dont have anythg to tell, not saying im a total looser, tp i dont have anythg to achieve dah... i mean, saya sudah blaja hingga ke universiti, sudah pun graduate, so thats about it, sudah capai dah cita2 masa kecik... ofcoz selepas abis blaja, kenala p keje... da thing is, i dont like going to work, work sucks and i like staying at home jer... the big Y kenapa saya suka umah saya? and kenapa saya suka duduk umah mak abah saya? sbb umah parent saya best tak ingat...

and instead of being a storyteller, might as well just lend my ears for the rest of the day... (ckp mcm nak pegi jer reunion tuh) ... tp dari msg yag ada kat kota_putra group, mcm ramai jer yg dtg... bagusla, keeping in touch mengeratkan silaturrahim... bukankah baik begitu... so i think this is about it. sebenanye, this post is done due to a special reminder from someone la... okla, nanti saya taip hari-hari kot?!! till ere, challoo

A Puzzling Mind

For this post, i just want to tell probably the stupidest thing i've ever done recently... first, it sounded kinda funny, but right now it's ripping my heart, bringing heart ache and bothering me ever since...

To begin with, let me tell how much i would like to buy a birthday present for my dad, it's on last December. i've been saving up some money from my pay check-didn't have lunch or breakfast, eat my hart out while watching my colleagues shopping during friday break, etc. so before december i managed to save more or less RM 2,100. The present that i want to buy for both of my parent is cell phone, Nokia N70 for my dad and Sony Ericsson Z610 for my mum.

After doing some online survey, i found out that it's still not enough since i want to buy my own phone too-K800. Something came up, my brother told me that we could get less price by buying through this someone from the internet. So i say, what da heck, lets try it. after a few contact, chatting through the ym... i thought we got a deal. well, let's just cut everythg short since it is kinda pain the arse writing it in details. i got ripped off, lost about RM6,000 ++. sound bull shit rite? but this damned shittin someone said that "no, u're not ripped off but u've to send me some more money" due to this shitting reason this and that... he kept on giving bull reasons, in da end i just say quietly to myself "Ain, please stop doing anymore charity ok. just consider it burnt and let gone be bygone"

yeah, yeah... it is stupid letting go RM6,000 burnt just like that when rite now im not working and been starving myself for the last 4 months.... in da end, this shit happen and i didn't get anything... if i kept on thinking about it, it really is driving me mad. but after some slow talk with me own self, i should just let it go... i try not to blame it on all the african and nigerian... but sometime i just felt sickin tired just passing through a nigger. damn those stupid liars, i prayed hard that they'll get pay for what they've done and rotten thousand death in hell

believe me, i really never thought anyone could fool me, such a naive thinking. of course through internet, you can easily lie to almost everyone!!! what was i thinking? believing 100% to this someone i haven't even met and hardly know about this so call hyperclass_cellphone company... that's why i keep on paying to them. they kept on giving too many reasons for me to keep on paying them such as demorage fees, custom fees... well, before i made the first payment, i asked them in detail whether or not we have to pay the custom? is this the exact sealed payment we have to make? then, they said "yes, this is all you have to pay". after the first payment, they pretend to say "oh, we're sorry. we don't know that you have to pay for the custom, or else they will seize the goods". after arguing, they settle for 70-30 payment. 70% i've to pay, the rest they will cover for me... so, this is some of the reasons they're playing to keep asking for more money....

so guys, be careful talking to strangers. you can believe almost no one through this internet. even after they keep on telling how honest they are and how much they wanted to help you. this is a hard lesson i've gone through. i just hope no one else has to go through it again. for these culprits, stop this scam to others. i've been praying for them to get what they deserve. what goes around comes around right?

for now, im really worried that my mum is going to find out about my "missing" money. ive withdrawn exactly RM3,000 from the tabung haji account. i hope i could top it up before it's too late. but right now, i dont think that will work since this march we're going to japan. ive to withdraw for some more money from tabung haji. last week my mum have a look at all the account books. but some how i manage to hide mine. next time, i dont know what rubbish i wana tell my ma. should i confess and tell the truth? or should i just hide it till i can top it up some how? this really is a puzzling mind... ="(

Dearest Me,
Ain Alida