Friday, February 06, 2009

Boleh Tak? - TANTRUM begin...

boleh tak jgn buat perangai dgn mak? dgn abah? boleh x put only happy faces infront of them no matter how blow up i wana be? boleh x jadi anak yg baik, yg xkn jadi emoszilla? boleh x jgn nk BIG*HUGE ET memanjang? boleh x jgn buat sesuatu yg menyusahkan hati mak, yg menyerabutkn perasaan mak? boleh ke x boleh?

Jawapannya berbunyi.....

Boleh, tp ikut me bloody moodly windy swindy gitu. i know, i damn know i shudnt do/make anythg in anyways dat cud hurt me mak. but, i am kapla batu, lagi keras sama itu batu. hantuk kapla kat dinding pun kapla yg pecah =p but i did it anyway, i shudnt but i did. forgive me mak, anak yg kapla batu neh. harapkn kapla, kapla batu. darn it...

so wat did dis drama queen buat pulak kali nih? big time!!! how big? as big as my head i guess. so wat did really happen? hmm, to start with, saya sudah byk kali kena marah sbb lmbt hantar borg gs*tt itu. boleh x malas sebenarnya nk p pp*d itu. layanan die x best, mcm kurap. muahaha, xdela gurau je. probs sbb mereka penat kot, byk mende nk kena setelkn. wat ever. so moving on, since pp*d gom*bak sudah tutup itu peluang, mak ckp dkt w.p boleh lg memohon. so off we (mak n me) went to itu w.p lah. itu pun berapa kali terlajakla, xtau kat manala, blalala... moving on, berkat doa dan tawakal, akhirnya smpi jugala. then, dis is when i started to buat perangai ala2 budak hentak kaki dkt supermarket, literally je yea. jgnla korang terimaginasi aku buat sumthg like dat, gile hape minah neh nk buat cenggitu lagi...

cut craps again, so kami pun pusing2 la itu bangunan, rupanya byk jugakla bangunan nih. x terjumpa cari gitu. kenala tanya kaunter pertanyaan kan. so blalala, on da way nk smpi ke tempat yg dituju, aku dah nmpk n baca notis kata pengambilan gs*tt dah tutup. mungkin mak x perasan nk baca notis tersebut kot. so bile dah tiba di lounge tersebut, aku pun buat perangai n protes dkt mak, kata gs*tt nih dah abis blalala, so nk ajak mak balik jerla. tp mak pujuk n minta tanyala itu kaunter. for me, if i knew da result, or by da glimpse of it, i wont dare to take da risk just to listen to da slap on my face saying more or less like dis - x reti baca ke dek non oi, dah tutup lama dah ni ha, org dah tampal notis merata dah nih.

after throwing a few tantrum and memeningkn kepala mak, mak pun smpi give up and ckp jomla balik, i just sat there and keep quiet for a minute or less. rationalizing and reasoning da consequences, so i went to da counter, and asked 'gs*tt dah tutup ek?' to be answered by itu pakcik kaunter with 'dah lama dah tutup dik, bulan 12 lagi' so i gave myself a face 'i told you so' and answered back 'klu mcm tu, saya isi borang utk guru ganti la' - which utk mencover malu, but i dnt like bein a sub-teacher, sbb tempoh sgt pendek, n its hard to compress evrythg in a matter of 2-3 month time.

jd masa tgh isi2 tuh, pakcik tuh borak2 la dgn mak, mak tanya2 pakcik tu. aku sgt x suke mengisi borang itu dan berdoa x dptla jadi cikgu ganti. then pakcik tuh ckp dgn sorg pegawai kt dlm, mintak aku nye sijil2 potostet tuh, take a look at the certs, then tanya aku 'berminat x nk jadi gs*tt? ada satu lg tmpt dkt sekolah x ' so im like ok. so pakcik nih bgla aku isi borang gs*tt nih...

pergh, pjg n details nye bercerita. boleh buat esei ttg bagaimana aku mengapply gs*tt nih gitu. moving on, and cut da many craps, pegawai dkt dlm tuh mintak aku dtg selasa dpn. katanya sbb aku berpakaian tidak sesuai - pki oversize jeans ala2 baggy, dgn oversize long-sleeves shirt. mmg ala2 hippie n baggy. style hipigy la kot ek. adala dua tiga empat soklan lagi yg dier tanya, tp malasla nk taip. x penting pun. saja nk buat ala2 interview la tu.

so wish me luck yea next tuesday. praying for da best. wat ever da outcome, i accept with open arms. tho im not quite ready to become a teacher again just yet, tp rezeki jgnla ditolak2, x baik. jgnla nk jual mahal x tentu pasal yea x?

hearing dis news, mak n abah pun dah ok. xdela nk bising2 lg pasal x hantar borangla, x berusahala, x itu ini la. i understand my parents, they worrid bout me, they love me. i do love them much, so much. but, at first, i thought, bgla peluang dkt org lain pulakkn utk jd gs*tt, xknla nk conquer sorg2 jer kn. x baik. futhermore, i wud like to focus n concentrate on my upcoming wedding. ( yup, we're doin it our way. masak secara berjemaah sesama keluarga, cat rumah pun secara berjemaah, sume la berjemaah dan sendirian berhad) tp, lps asyik kena marah jer nih, i just have to take my chance n hopefully dimurahkn rezeki... plus saya sudah x larat nk dgr bising2 drpd ibu bapa saya.

so lets pray for evrythg to end up well. all well end well kan? so have a good day, have a marvellous weekend. take care n stay safe aite =)

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