Thursday, May 07, 2009

~ Minta Maaf ~

tadi masa tgh online, terdengar mcm nama kena panggil. tp kekadang tuh terasa mcm terperasan jer nama kena panggil. then dgr betul², rupa²nya abah panggil. terus berlari turun. cari² abah, x jupe cari. rupa²nya abah dkt luar. abah suruh bukakkan pintu cage putih tuh, sbb abah dpt tangkap kucing jantan yg jahat sgt tuh. then by the time i understood wat abah is asking me to do, kucing tuh cakar² abah, dan dapat melepaskan diri. abah sgt kecewa, i apologise many² times. i let my dad down, minta maaf abah = "(

minta maaf sbb terpekakkan telinga, i really didn't expect abah will call for me. i thought abah is calling for naim. im really sad and frustrated by myself. dis is it ain, next time, whether abah or mak is calling for someone else, just attend to them and be alert, respond to surrounding and pay attention. if not, il be a dissapointment again...

i cant erase da looks from abah. very dissapointed and frustrated. i felt like no others too. arghhh, why cant i listen carefully tadi? dont you have ears ain? duh, wat a dumb question anyway...

i hope tgn abah yg kena cakar td tuh cpt baik. im so worried rite now since abah ada diabetes. please pray for the wound to heal faster. kesian abah, i really broke his hart.

then my h2b call and asked evrythg alrite, which i sadly replied nooo, an inch close sobbing to tears. then he asked, wats wrong and i spill evrythg. he listen quietly and promised to catch dat jahat punya kucing yg dah cakar tgn abah. i really hope kucing tuh pegi jauh2 dari rumah kami, sbb kucing tuh mmg terlampau jahat sgt, die klu masuk rumah ni jer, dier suka pancut². habis baju2 yg dah lipat, kusyen and evrythg else lg die kencing. bangang giler, suka curi lauk, suka gaduh dgn kucing kitorg smpi kucing tuh tershitty evrywhere and bb yg kena basuh and da list of his evilness will go on!!!

but h2b did lift my spirit up. and cheer me =) saya sudah mampu tersenyum kembali =) alhamdulillah. cuma, saya berdoa pada Allah agar luka di tgn abah cepat sembuh. Ya Allah, sembuhkanla tgn abah, its my stupid mistakes ya Allah, please forgive me and heal abah's wound ~ amin...

dah berkali² minta maaf pada abah. harap abah jgnla kecewa lagi dgn anaknya ini. i know abah isnt dissapointed just bcoz of dis incident, it stretches longer than dat. and i kno dat very well. but i wont elaborate more on dat. so by dat, i do promise dat i wana be a better daughter, so dat abah and mak will always happy with us...

and yesterday, h2b lost his phone bcoz of me too. on his way here, i called him and asked whether he cud stop by at dat pasar malam and buy roti goreng for naim. mula² naim asked me to go to pasar mlm tuh, tp i was busy cooking dinner, so i called h2b instead. and while he was at da pasar malam, pencuri bongok telah curi my h2b phone. but, h2b always find the way to take evrythg in the other way around. he uses logic and common sense which i rarely use. he accepted the lost and make me accepted the lost too. by losing, you will gain something too, insyaAllah...

kinda feel low and down at da moment and i just dont know why. please bounce back from this state ain. its ok to feel sorrow and sadness, but too much of it will bring nothg but misery. be strong and stay strong, always looks at da brighter side and postive thinking is da way to go. take a deep breath, hold it and let it go. believe in Allah, have faith in Allah at all time. you can do this ain, aja aja fighting!!!

wow, wat a long run just to mutter about how sad i am, dat i made my dad frustrated. dis post really is a murmur for myself, dis is how i talk to myself. so dat i wont do it again next time. so dat i will respond better next time. so dat i will be better next time. so say all you want, called me freak or watever, heck i wont care any less bcoz dis is me. when i feel sad, i write. when im down, i write. again, i used to write in my lil book, always write my thoughts in there. but dis time, i will simply write in here, just for a change. but i wont make it a habit, probably i would. i dnt kno, well who knows anyway rite?

till here, sorry for keeping you reading dis long when you probably had something better to do. like always, take care and dont ever let someone dear to you down. bcoz da hartbreakin is da equal amount for both party. always be a better person evry single day. so let aja aja fighting evryone!!! assalamualaikum...

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