Thursday, December 11, 2008

I Really Cudnt Smile ="(

yello, hmmm... wat a big E.T im having today. i duno, smlm all smiley, today all downy. im just not smiley, datsal. nothg biggie. being et lg, i just cudnt help myself. so twirt, you will listen to me rite buddy? altho, i havnt speak to you in a long while, but i kno u will keep on listening to me wont you? ='(

ignore my ramble, so wusup for dis entry? umm, nothg much apart from dis morning ive been to hkl, for mak's appointmnt. got there round 10mins to 9. so plenty of time to waste till da clock strike ten. im telling you, da hospital is crowded with people. like you dnt know by hart already rite? anyway, after getting da numb, so da waiting part had begun. thank god i bring my comic books which i havent finish reading yet, and psp. after da 1st book, took a break by playing sims cast away. ive been to da 2nd island, and about to find da volcano wic ive no idea where it is. a few more mission to accomplish and if im bored, then i wana start playin locco rocco. there's dis one boy at first staring shyly from far. later when mak get up from da seat, dis boy came to me and we had a small conversation. 'kak, brape game nih kak?' 'um, x mahal klu beli skrang nih, dlm 600-700 jer. dulu masa akak beli tgh mahal, dlm seribu lebeh' 'um, x dpt nk beli kot, tahun dpn nk upsr' 'owh, tahun dpn upsr ek, dpt result bagus, minta la mak belikan' he smiled and walk away. i smiled continue playing da game till da batt went out. then continue reading another comic book.

um, so why do we have to wait for so long? ofcoz there's a reason for it. due to give way to VIP, Dato' Datin blalala first, then its da commoner's turn. watever, i dnt mind sittin my arse off till they're numb, as long as no body mind my business, then evrythg is good. so while waiting, mak and me talk and talk. but not too much talking, since im no mood to talk. im afraid with mood like dis, talkin too much will break sum1's hart. better just keep my mouth shut. later, around 11 sumthg, abah came. mak is all smiley, im just plain happy. so mak n abah talk, while i read da comic for da 2nd round. um, i did kinda majuk dgn mak, its nothg really. i actualy majuk with myslf. i dnt kno, i jst hate havin dis kinda feelin. im not majuk dgn mak, really. i wana hug her, hugs like a lot. but i cudnt. i evn cudnt be with mak rite now. its like bein a burden to mak, bcoz yesterday mak cudnt sleep thinkin of da engagement thingy. i never ask for this thingy anyway, i thought when da ffil came, we can just sum up and do da merisik n tunang in one go. i dnt mind dat, its better dat way actually. then later, we can just get married and get this thg done. simple as dat. now since we're stuck like dis, yup im feelin like stuck, i felt im like a huge garbage/baggage rite now. i felt sorry for mak. i minimize da burden by paying for watever stuff dat i can. buy da magazine and stuff to do da thingy. why am i calling dis ceremony as a thingy? x baik betul lah, haish.... but i just feel like cancelling dis event, call off da ceremony? i dnt wana burden mak anymore. i wana do it by myself, tempah, cari yg siap je terus, but mak didnt say anythg bout dis. mak ckp my cousin will do it. so now im being super silent. kuncikn diri dlm bilik. i wana be alone. left alone...

anyway, reachin noon, still we cudnt see da dr. with grumblin tummy, abah told me to go to buy sum food. so i did. well, before dat i made a lil drama, but i cudnt help myself. its a nice coincident i must tell, when i felt my chest really tight, my eyes are dwelled with tears, takbir pun bergema. its a blessing indeed. to many who witness my drama must be thinkin im tersyahdu by takbir which is good. i wudnt want to be label as drama queen, nanges x tentu pasal. at least, ive my reason, syahdu dgr takbir raya. who doesnt, am i rite? but again, who cares rite? so wat sumbody cried? so wat i cried? i like to cry n i cry a lot. im no shy when its comes to tears. im a lady with tears ="(

then later, i came back with magazines, paper n comics lg. 2 days in a row buying comic!wat a blessing!!! now im hoping da comics will be re-published again. im missing many2 comics, thanks to my so called "kawan2", mencuri i mean mengambil harta tanpa reti nk pulangkn balik. i hate those "kawan2", smpi skrang x bg2 balik komik org. n my brother till today sound byk komik die dh hilang. jd, bg sape2 yg ada dan nk jual yuyu hakusho vol 1-4, tolong bitau ek. dgn slam dunk vol bape x ingt. owh, n sailormoon vol 18. gosh, byk gle nk kena list down. bt since all da comics are now re-published, guess have to check out da stall evry now n then. tp korg perasan x yg makin lama komik2 saiz die makin mengecil n kertas die x berkualiti. harga makin naik, mula rm2.50, then 2.8, then 3.50, then 3.8 dan latest is ada yg 4.3 n 4.8. its like mencekik betul! haish, patutnya "kawan2" itu td kena cekik jugakla. asyik aku je yg tercekik selama nih, again haishhh......

so satu hari nih aku hanya menjadi muram sahaja. x ckp byk, x buat pape pun. mlm aku mengenakan perintah berkurung buat diriku sendiri. i want go downstairs n talk with evryone, tp hati kecil nih sedeh sgt, smpi aku pun tatau nk wat cemana. if i go down n make matter worst, better off sitting in my room, cry my hart out and hope for da better tomoro, isnt it twirt?

tp there's dis person made me smile again just now twirt. he has ways to crack a smile for me =) and im thankful for dat. he didnt do much actually, he makes me reason and think and then i smile again. isnt it great? but to reason and think at da time emotion run high, mmg ada yg mkn kasut karang, ahaha... i mean, reason, think + patience, im sure this ingredient work out well.

for tomorrow, i guess i shudnt be dis gloomy anymore, lets be goofy then =) but we'll see wats path of life ahead of us. do pray we're gona take dat good path. btw, next post il show you how adorable my lil sister n my cousin did for my t-day. boleh je postkn gmbr skrang, tp where's da thrill kn? guess till here then, lets get da best out of friday, hari yg penuh baraqah ni kn. take care and be good =)


The Mrs-Bride said...

ohh.. im a fn of yuyu hakusho & sailormoon gak dulu2!! hihihi.. skang yuyu pun dah masuk anime channel kt astro kan.. so excited jgak tp so far no chance to watch it.. huhuhu.. best kan comic2 nih.. lama x baca dah.. :D

ain alida said...

kan kan knits... bestkn baca komik. im lovin it gitu. knits ada x terasa nk jual komik2 tuh, klu ada terasa, merasalah me wana buy it. klu x terasa, its okie dokie. saja mau tanya, kot2 ada chance =)