Thanks a bunch!!!!

Fuish, byk sungguh komen2 yg membina daripada anda sekalian. sgt terharu rasanya. terima kasih di atas sokongan moral yg telah anda semua berikan. wat doesnt kill me, can make me stronger kn?

to elly, thanks and yup, i wont stop writing bout these darling until its time for me to finally stop, a lil bit of challange ive to face, but dats only to spice up and juice my daily routine =D

to aton, hehe baru kena puji sket terus x update hari2. mmg nak tulis, tp kinda tired sket sbb budak2 ni tgh ujian. mcm ada adrenaline rush je lps marah2 diorg, end up ive sore joints and ive a headache once a while. not to worry, il post sumthg juicy later ek aton =)

to mishika, jgnla masuk kelas cikgu nih. smlm dgn hari nih, cikgu garang sgt smpi muka budak2 perempuan semua kecut je tgk cikgu. cikgu pun takut dgn keadaan cikgu pada masa itu. im like so fierce and fury, and i dont evn like myself sbb at any moment i felt i can just lempang budak2 itu. thank god i didnt, bcoz i wana hurt no one, tp sumtime they are just too much!!! i nearly burst in tears but again i didnt. i just went outside, take a couple of huge breath and gave them a cold hard stares. tp disebabkn diorg nih mmg x reti2 bahasa, sekejap je kelas senyap. gosh i hate these brats!!!!

to fara, yes indeed, evry moment i prayed to Allah for strength and patience!!! i am determine to keep on going till the end of this year. later on, come wat may, just belasah je ek...

again, thanks a lot for my supporters, my invinsible arms and shoulders to cry on =) im very blessed to have friends likem you guys, full of supports and words of encouragements! this is the moment where all i need is comfort and here you guys are!!! got some more stories to tell, but il save it till the next post...

arghhh, esok sekolah ganti la pulak, darn it!!! mau masuk tidur awalla. till here then, take care and stay safe =)

Pichas...

Nie ha, adela sket2 gambar yg mau dipostkn. asyik ceritera jer kn, so kali nih cikgu bg visual aid gitu. so sambil tgk gambar, cikgu explain. klu x faham, boleh angkat tangan, cikgu akn terangkn lebeh detail yea. btw, gudluck and all da best utk ujian julai yg akn bermula esok!!!

gambar kt sebelah ni masa budak2 sebok buat eksperimen PEKA utk pendulum. tgkla, sempat lg nk berposingkn? janji dah siap sume report tu, cikgu pun dah x pening kepala dah. aku dah ckp yg aku akn postkn gmbr2 diorg, they doesnt seem to mind, seronok lagi adalah =D

yg ni group budak2 lelaki pulak. barula nmpk mcm tgh buat eksperimenkn? budak2 perempuan kt atas tu, kekadang nakalnye, ya rabbi!!! sakit kepala nak layan budak2 nih...

gambar ni pun letak jugakla. kang kata cikgu pilih kasih kan, asyik layan bangsa sendiri ajer. cikgu bukan mcm itu yea murid2, sumenye cikgu layan. cuma budak2 yg mcm palat je cikgu malas nak layan.

ni pulak gambar masa hari mesra pelanggan. sume tgh tunggu ibu bapa masing2 mengambil kad laporan. ni budak2 perempuan, gmbr lps ni adalah gmbr budak2 lelaki

ni adalah gambar budak2 lelaki. tak semua yg ada sbb ada ibu bapa yg dah dtg, dan ada yg pegi camping.

jadi ini adalah sebahagian gmbr budak2 yg cikgu ajar. sebenarnya ni gmbr budak2 kelas yg sama. kelas yg lain2 x sempat nak amik sbb asyik kena marah diorg je, asyik kena membebel suruh diam. jadi harap maafla sbb ada gmbr budak2 satu kelas ni sahaja.

so there you go, here's a sneak peak of our activities at skool. i shud probably make a video where i raise my voice and start yelling at these brats, tgk aksi cikgu ganas di skolah, muahahahahaha.

tp hari ni mcm slack sket. aku bengang gak klu dapat relief at a free time where i shud pray. ni dari masuk asar smpi nk abis asar ada kelas. mmg xde dasar langsung. so td aku curi masa utk solat asar kejap. smbhyg pun x menyempat sbb nk ke kelas seterusnya. dasar budak2 &*%$#, diorg bergaduhla pulak dalam kelas. kak H yg tolong settlekn sblm aku smpi ke kelas. i know its my bad, i shud hv come earlier, tp mind me, i wud rather face a thousand death daripada nk lewatkn sgt smbhyg. aku bukanla alim, tp tolongla kn, leave my space alone utk solat. time dah nk dkt maghrib xknla baru nk smbhyg kn? watevrla, td aku complain jugak, tp jawapannya, nak buat mcm mana. sakit jap kepala, i mean cikgu2 silala jgn amik cuti or asyik ada urusan luar. klu kerja lain, org tu mc ke watever, org lain xdela terasa sgt bebannya. ni klu sorg cikgu mc/watever, dah kena dapat relief. kinda suck giler, i just hate having to relief others. so note to self, jgn mc unless ure really in need. kesian mereka2 yg dah byk sgt kelas itu kena reliefkn.

itu sahaja complain dari saya, overall its a crazy day. how crazy its gonna get tomorrow? we'll see =D for da mean time, just pretend and act like ure having fun, bcoz eventually you will =)

Banyaknya...

hurmmm, klu baca blog org lain, it seems dat their lives resolve in coding, programming, meeting such and such. but in here, in the meanwhile, my writing is about my adorable murid2. so klu asyik tercerita pasal budak2 nih je, harap bersabarla ek, sbb aku pun xde cite lain nk cite. lagipun, sbb utama aku nk bercerita sbb xnk kepala penuh dgn diorg. jadi besarlah harapan sekiranya dapat bercerita dgn korang pasal budak2 ini.

hari nih mau cite ape ek?overall PEKA lagi 4 org x siap lagi out of 3 class = 138. so ada 138 reportla yg kena ditanda. so far, byk buku2 nota dan latihan budak2 dah pun ditanda. buku yg nak dibagi ke ketua bidang pun dah dibagi. plus dis week pun ada ujian julai, woohoo!!! seronok sbb satu sekolah ni will be in dead silent!!! sgt silent till you cn hear your own breath!!!

umm, i just dont get it when parents blaim the teachers if for example they are not informed by their children outrages behaviour at school. bukankah menjadi tanggungjawab ibu bapa tanya pd anak2 diorg n perihatin dgn surat2 amaran yg dah pun dipos ke rumah? for goodness sake, dlm kelas all the teachers kena control +/- 45 students. banyak x hengat tuh!!!! diorg ni pulak suka wat komplot nak memekak kt blakang. berapa kali suruh diam pun buat x heran je, kang ada yg nk kena baling dgn kasut. so to those, plz stop pointing fingers dkt cikgu2 sbb cikgu2 mmg x larat nk entertain budak yg sorang itu. the teachers had given their fullest attention and intention to the class. plz dnt add up stress n burden to the teachers. instead, jgnla bg muka sgt dkt anak2. klu diorg buat salah, tolong jgn nk backing anak2 itu, sbb lagila diorg naik syeh nanti...

for the past weeks, aku buat rules yg jgn bwk mende2 terlarang masuk makmal, klu x sume kena rampas. diorg bg alasan jadah pun, sorry il take it anyway. adik aku pun ckpla yg aku nih kejam. i know im being mean, tp budak2 nih bolehla amik balik at the end of the school year. aku pun mmg x sampai hati nk rampas, its just dat aku xnk aku yg kena blame klu meja2 kt makmal ni kena conteng. aku boleh back hand balik kata yg murid2 ku itu sume x bwk liquid, marker, highlighter and bla la la la la....

smpi hari nih, barula aku perasan yg byk gile dah aku rampas. dah nak penuh karung plastik tu. dasat jugak aku nih ek? tp skrang aku pun dah cool down, klu budak2 ni bwk, aku cuma x bg diorg pki terang2an. mcm sorok2 bwk gitu. sbb aku tgk bukan diorg yg conteng, siap mengadu lagi ada. ada sekali tuh budak kelas mana ntah, mmg conteng melampau betul, lucah sgt! aku tgk pun geli giler. aku pun bgtaula sofea, pembantu makmal, minta die cucikn. so budak2 ni pun dah pahamla kenapa sume mende tuh xleh dibawa masuk ke makmal. slalu jugakla aku round tgk diorg bawak ke tak. alhamdulillah, budak2 ni dah jadi baik orgnya. suka sangat =)

ada sket gmbr2 nk dipostkn, nantila diletakkn di sini. rasanya itu jerla kot bebelan kali nih. mau turun, nak borak2 dgn mak dgn abah. kepada sume, live life to the max =D

Baru Ku Tahu

umm, just now i googled a little sumthg bout gstt, little did i know dat im very fortunate and damn lucky to be able to work as a gsttian. i thought there's not so many out there is a teacher wana be. and again little did i know, many really wanted dis job...

at first, for me, gstt is sumthg to past the time, i shud say. i do love the 'teacher' title, darn happy hearing the murid2 calling me teacher and greet me as a teacher. but when thinking dat is going to be over after a certain period of time, i must say dat, gstt is just a mere dream. rite now, all the teachers are planning for the next year, the timetable, wat subjct to be teach next year, such and such... but then, i excluded myself from participating in their chats with a smile, knowing dat im not gonna be here the next year....

so as to speak, im living every moment as a teacher, knowing dat the past remain as a history, da future is another story. not putting any high hopes, a path to become a teacher is never a certain for me. so to be or not to be, still remain as a huge question and a blurry vision indeed...

to bear in mind dat, having dis wonderful experience as a gsttian is sumthg i shud be grateful of. i met new friend, new environment, and many interesting students. ive experience the interviews, met new faces, all in all, the process to get to this point today is a memoir dat ill cherish the rest of my life.


why am i writing all dis innuendoes? as if tomorrow is da last day i can be call as a teacher? i dont kno, its just hit me hard when hearing these teachers making their plan for the next year as i know im not gonna be around....

but on the sunny side of this dreading story, the next year, i wont hv to face this such hassle anymore. moreover, maybe i can be a housewife? (if im married at the end of this year dat is).

so enough thinking bout the future as im damn happy living in the moment. yeas, im happy to say dat my students is so nice today, probably the baraqah of friday! they did behaved quite adorable today. the nongoi2 murid did their PEKA report as expected, but due to lack of time, they didnt quite finish it yet. so i will give them time to do it next week then.

however, the last 2 period really boiled my blood to the max. this one particular murid, ive no idea wats wrong him, he had a mouth dat cannot be shut no matter wat i say to him. the worst part is, bcoz of him, the whole lot became infected with his obnoxious behaviour. after i wrote a few lines in the discipline book, he finally know how to shut his stinkin mouth. so da class went silence and i cud teach in peace. till the bell went off, the moment of silence is still there...

before i went bck home, this one teacher asked me wether i could come tomorrow to assist him with futsal. damn rite i wana be there, but i remain cool and act cool as if im too busy tomorrow. a few chat bout dis and dat, i said yes and by 8.00 am i shall be there. hopefully, im goin with kak lin and afterward we cud go jolly2 together, hehe =P. so for tomorrow, i dont know wat to expect, but with high hope i do wana have gud time with my sista =)

till here, till next post. have a great weekend evry1 =D

A Gratitude

Sangat rasa puas hati hari nih sbb kelas yg paling susah nk dgr ckp, dh siapkn PEKA! woohoo!!!! i dont have to gv myslf a headache evrytime thnkin bout PEKA. ada lagi satu kelas, budak2 nye tahap degilnya hardcore jugak. haish, dgn sgt besar harapan, esok diorg dptla siapkn. then bolehla aku start menanda report2 budak2 nih.

folio geografi pun dah pouring in, sgt seronok tgk hasil kreativiti diorg nih. sejuk mata memandang gitu. buku nota pun dah mintak diorg hantar n dah siap tandakan pun. cuma latihan budak2 nih kena semak. so far, my workload still xdela memenuhkan meja. masih boleh lagi bernafasla kiranya.

esok adala pulak meeting geografi. slalunya hari jumaat, aku mmg suka pegi lmbt. esok kenala dtg awal. haish, aperla yg nak dimesyuaratkn. aper2 ajela, janji cpt abis. aku akn mendengar dgn penuh kusyuk dan masyuk =D

utk buku cuti sekolah terancang, aku kena buat soalan utk geografi. and aku x cari lgpun soalan2 itu =p nantila dis weekend aku start diggin for the questions. anyway, dahla kena collect kn soalan2 itu, nanti kena stapler kn lagi. hari tu aku dgn fizah mmg nak muntah, tiap hari asyik ngadap booklet2 itu. nk ngadap 'org' itu lg. haish, dat time is sucks!!! then kena buat lg.

wat da heckla dis org thinking, asyik nk nyusahkn cikgu baru sahaja (not dat im complainin, hang on a sec... yes i am!!!) wat ever, im done till dis december. so for this meanwhile, kena tahan sketla dan bykkn bersabar. sila bawak bersabar yea cikgu ain alida...

okla, think gona switch off the light now. esok mau bangun awal. till here, take care =)

Im Still Thinkin

Sempena bulan Rejab yg penuh dgn baraqah nih, aku dah pun start puasa since minggu lps. only on weekdays, weekend hari bersantap dgn penuh kusyuk dan tawadhuq skali, hehe.

i did noticed dat, perangai budak2 nih ble aku puasa, mcm dengar kata sket. darah aku pun xdela mendidih sgt,stakat suam2 kuku gitu adala. dan pandai pulak amik hati aku dgn buat lawak budak2 diorg. aku pun xdela nk marah je memanjang. so basically aku pun buat psycho attack je dgn diorg. ble diorg rasa left out sbb sume pun nk belajar, slowly diorg yg hard core nie, yg xleh kelas senyap nih, bukak jugakla buku. pyscho attack yg mcm mana, basically menghorrorkn future diorg. maybe diorg pun dah slalu dgr kot,mesti cikgu2 lain dah membebel jugakkn, saying sumthg dat hit them hard. such as, klu xnk blaja end up mcm mana nanti in the future. klu suka sakitkn hati cikgu, ada ke tempat diorg kt syurga nanti. diorg klu aku sebut pasal neraka sket, baru nk insaf. drpd bising sebising alam, terus senyap. rupanya, kena slalu ingtkn diorg nih, diorg suka rupanya klu kena membebel ala ala ceramah agama sket, drpd marah on and on bout their outrages behaviour nih.

skrang nih pun, alhamdulillah with couple of hard stares diorg dah paham dah warning aku tu. klu sebelum nih, aku tgk mcm mana pun, diorg buat selambe je. skrang diorg dah paham sket.sketla, sbb bisingnya masih ada.especially bile time loceng berbunyi,diorg pun buat mcm2 bunyi...

anyway, folio geografi dah start comin in. diorg pun dah start hantar,which is a great news.xyahla aku nk berkejar diorg mintak siapkn. due date lmbt lagi, dlm 2 minggu. dan daripada yg aku tgk, mostly dah siapkn. im very proud of you guys, keep it up yea murid2 sekalian.

PEKA pulak, nie jiwa kacau sket. ada jugak si nongoi2 ini yg liat sungguh nk siapkn. budak2 ni 1st report PEKA, aku kurung diorg dlm makmal sains tu. diorg xleh balik kelas. alhamdulillah, 1st report budak yg paling nongoi, konon2 bapak gengster, kepala ponteng kelas, pun dah siap. yg 2nd report nih, aduhai... kurung pun diorg boleh cabut jugak. main lari je bile kelas dah habis, smpi terlanggar aku kt dpn pintu tu. kureng kn budak2 nih? xpe2, esok masih ada. jgn ingt korg boleh terlepas ek. akn ku cari hingga hujung lubang cacing.

so, tu jerla bebelan kali nih. nanti sambung balik membebel ek. muchos nanchos...

A Few Words

Assalamualaikum... apa mau bebel kali nih ek? asyik membebel sorg2 je cikgu ni kan? budak2 kt blakang bukannya nk dgr pun. x kesahla diorang nk dgr ke x, janji cikgu dah menyampaikan apa yg nk disampaikn. lagipun dah diorg jugak yg xnk dgr, after all those membebel, pinches dan yg sewaktu dgnnya. i cant force them to hear my preach, so wat to do la kn? asalkn diorg x ckp yg aku nih x ngaja diorg sudah.

anyway, yes... sometime rasa mcm dah mati kutu mcm mana nk bg diorg suka blaja. ive been using various technique dah, da conventional method, da new method like pki laptop, pki pc, pasang courseware and such tp tataula knapela diorg sgt stubborn gitu. so mcm mana ek bile the end product is not produced like the customers expected?

so in the end, i decided not to marah2 sgt. kesian, i punish the whole class just for these brats. so budak2 blakang masih mcm tu jugak, masih nk brckp n xnk dgr langsung. tp again, dats their choice. so aku hanya layan budak2 yg dpn nila. diorg jerla tempat ku curahkn ilmu. budak2 blakang once a while aku suruh diorg jgn bising, suruh duduk and such so dat yg dpn leh blaja dgn jayanya. again, bukan aku yg ignore diorg. bkn aku xnk marah2 diorg. sbb aku xnk mood da whole class terganggu. yela, yg x bersalah pun kena marah, mana x semua pun xnk blaja kn? so kpd budak2 yg xnk blaja tu, i hope another 10 years or so jgn nk menyesal x sudah ok?

tengok nih, asyik membebel jer kn kejenye. nmpk sgt dah become one of those makciks yg sgt kepochi. nganga, i mean my life now is surround by these bunch of kids. so kekadang tu terkeluar jugakla pasal diorg nih kn. i try not to tell in details here, konon mcm nk private n confidential gitu. tp, klu mood dah rasa nk cite all in n out, wat to do la kn? muahahahaha gelak evil =D

main course of this entry is my sista is home!!! yea, kak lin sudah pulang bercuti. tp x lama pun, dlm sebulan sahaja. its been nearly a week dah, haish... kn best klu x keje, leh pi jalan2 suka hati dgn adikku ini. ada jugak perasaan nak monteng keje jer rasa. tp as a teacher, dats a no no! beside i hate kena relief cikgu2 yg x dtg, meski kena maki hamun dlm diam jugak klu aku pun perangai yg sama, ngenge...

guess smpi cni jerla kot. xde cite best sgt. klu nk cite pasal budak2 nih byk2la, tp malas. xnk ar penuhkn blog ni pasal diorg. baik cite pasal pokok buah2an yg sgt byk buah ni, lagi besh. so till herela bebelan dari cikgu ini. always smile n stay sane ek, heheh

Static

It's been a long static. not dat ive been avoidin bloggin, its just dat i dont have any more desire to spill my thoughts and senses in this virtual world. what i would really wish for now, is to have my other half eyes to eyes and stay with me all night. but thats a wish probably gonna take longer time to come true. how hard ive been praying lately for this, but solemnly knowing dat there's always the blessing in disguise waiting itself to be reveal.

sound poetic as i may, is not wat i intended to babble in here. just a few line about this and dat, datsal y'all. aint nothin but wats been kickin lately, n tellin da truth, i got nothg.

write all i will, but all i could think of is despair. as though the skies have fallen on me, the air was so heavy dat i cudnt breath, the cloudy days dat never seems to end, the sun as though too shy to be out again, all the butterflies the bees and the birds stop dancing. no words can describe my sorrows and grieve. i just feel teribly sad, and no reason for this.

i try to reach the end of the tunnel, but the light seems to move further and further away. i try to run but my knees are so weak. i try to scream, but im so numb i couldn't speak. so please misery go away, i really need to come out and play.

lead a happy life people, choose to smile evn for a while. you never know, the person that you smile to is the one you could fall in love to.

enough said, take care and smile =)