Just To Say Hi

hmmm... quite a long pause in here, meant to write sooner, but still in grieve, still in shock... finaly i think its time for me to let it out, to spill some of the thoughts with you guys... da least i cud do since it is da best thg to do rather to hold my breath and wish for sumthg or some way else to happen. da heck im rambling bout anyway shishhhhhh.....

to be frank, got nothg under my sleeve to write, kinda blurry coz still in the i-dnt-wana-do-anythg state. and the best term to used for my mood swing rite now is the big ET. nak tau ET tu apa maksud dier? ExtraTerasareal... yup, been quite ET for this past couple of days, dgn xleh tdonye. dunno da heck is goin on. tp my gratitude to Allah da mighty bcoz during this kinda of so-not-glory moments, he is always there for me. suke je memaniskn kembali wajahku yg masam dgn PH tahap skalanya 1. wat ever stunt i pulled, he reply with gestures dat made me cry (tears of hapiness daa...) sometimes i dont know wat i did to deserve him sbb even i cant stand myself. he's such a nice guy, sgt bersyukur dan x sangka akn bertemu/berjumpa dgnnya. sbb he understand me, he care for me, he always try to do his best for me. he protect me, he always here for me, he teaches me, but da best of all he truly genuinely loves me. not for my looks, my brains, my any other posible me. obviously i constantly wonder, how can this man cud ever love me? ive got nothg to be proud of, ive nothg to offer, im clumsy, im such a goof, no braniac, lazy, and the list shall continue...

so whenever i have doubts (evry nite asyik tanya, smpi sendri pun nk muntah) i let him know wats in my mind. and he will comfort me without fail. and i know it came from his hart, and he meant wat he said. one thg i learnt bout him over the years, is dat he wont say sumthg yg hanya nk memaniskn hati org, yg ape kite nk dgr. klu salah, mmg laser beam yg dibagi and i will cry smpi mata mcm pau. he's honest and he's a man of his words. when he gave me words of wisdom, i listen and loving it =)

aper daa asyik cite pasal kekasihku ini. hmmm, probably sbb kitorg pun dah nk bertunang. yup kawan2, saya bakal bertunang insyallah 2112 ni. our parents pun dah jupe2 and da time pun dah set dah kot. yes, il write bout it but tataula pasal tgn nih x jugak taip2. sorry net, mesti kamu tertunggu2 pasal cite kakin ni kan. orite2, il elaborate bout it later.

so yesterday, boleh x skolah tu kena rompak? (actually kena curi, rompak bile ada keganasan yg melibatkn senjata, tp ntah sume org ckp kena rompak, aku pun gunapakai sajela) to be exact, satu bilik ni jer yg kena selongkar. aku smpi2 skolah tiba2, en. F ni ckp "Ain, kena kemaih tempat ain, teghuq sgt tuh" - dlm loghat utara. aku pun like wat da heck kn. xknla tmpt aku tikus kerjakn smpi teruk sgt. then, aku dah start panic, menggigil jap pala lutut sbb aku dah tertinggal sumthg important dlm laci itu. dlm hati, nk sedapkn hati, xknla nk hilang sbb laci tu berkunci dan kunci tu aku sorok ats meje tuh...

sume cikgu2 pun dah sebok2 tanya ada pape brg hilang x? aku pun dlm hati like 'sabarla, aku pun x inspect pape lg'. so, 1st thg aku try tarik laci tu, dan laci tu pun terbukak. air mata sedikit bergenang. aku dah start menggelabah. laci tu aku tarik luas2 dan syukur, aku nmpk bekas itu. tp dlm hati 'mungkinkah isi kandungannya dah xde' ="( syukur sgt pada Allah, mmg rezeki aku, alhamdulillah xde pape yg hilang...

laci ku yg dah tunggang langgang disebabkn lahabau mana ntah nih. korang perasan x beg plastik tu? hmm, tu sebenarnya barang rampasan budak2 nih masa dkt lab dulu. sape bwk mende terlarang dlm lab, aku amek tanpa rasa pape. tp, diorg boleh claim balikla hujung tawon ni, aku xdela kejam sgt, klu x dh lama bg nama diorg dgn rete diorg nih dkt cikgu displin. dah tawu xleh bwk, jgnla bwkkn as simple as dat duh...

nmpk x bekas comel bunga2 tuh? dats da ring holder my ffil bg hari tuh. kenapa pegi tinggal dkt skolah? yea, satu soklan yg bernas dr murid2. cikgu yg kurang bernas sebenanye. lagipun cikgu kn dah tua, memory loss sgt inevitable yea murid2 sekalian. jd sila maafkn cikgu yg x brapa nk peka ni yea.

content dlm die, lain kali cikgu tunjuk yea murid2. ni cume intro je, isi2 penting cikgu huraikn lain kali =)

hmm, wat my h2b have to say about this incident? lain kali hati2, and dia x marah dkt saya klu ianya hilang. his explaination 'klu pada waktu tu kena buat pilihan, antara cincin dgn jari, buang jer cincin tu dlm longkang sbb yg penting kena selamatkn jari tu. duit boleh kita cari lagi.' ada lagi sambungan 'klu tgh naik kereta, kereta dah x sempat nk elak, selamatkn diri dulu, biar kereta jatuh gaung, yg penting nyawa kita selamat' hmmm, im such a looser when any of my stuff is missing. i cud be upset for days. mood jgn ckplah, tahap gaban je faulty die.but to him, he always made it sound so simple. 'mmgla sedeh sbb barang hilang, cume jadikanlah kenangan dgn brg tu sbg memori. brg tu boleh diganti baru, cume kekalkanla memori dgn barang tu' sumthg like disla da sentence. nak quote bulat2, sorry my memory loss is quite inevitable...

wat im trying to say is dat, he constantly offer his comfy words to sooth my aching hart. he says da right words at da right time. always combine da logic with the emotion at da same sentence which make sense evntho sumtime im too stubborn kapla batu to listen. in the end, yup im da emo he's da nemo =D

next post, gona be wat happenla ek with da meeting meeting thingy or shud i say merisik. tp sgt different from wat i had in mind pasal merisik nih. i always thought klu merisik tuh mcm sgt formal and kena jadi skema. rupanya it turnout to be fun! n comel je coz i got to see his mom n dad, his dad n mom got to see my mum n dad n i got to meet him. da day end up quite great and i pray for evrythg to turn out well insyallah. pray for us too tau =)

so far, paper moral aku dah abis tanda, tinggal sivik pulak. aku gelak evil jer pada budak2 yg ckp soklan sivik susah. duh, ingt aku nk bg A senang2 je ke? baik xyah amik pekse. wlupn sivik x masuk dlm pekse, at least have da decency to read a bit la. and to listen in class. bukannya x bg tips, siap bg hint mmg inila yg kena jawab dlm pekse. still x dpt buat jugak. ni dah sah2 x leh pk sendiri nih haishhh...

rasanye smpi cni jer kot. will write some more later. see you later aligator. in a while crocodile. take care and be good =)