Saturday, August 16, 2008

Long Lost Love

sedehnye bunyi title post kali nih kan? hmm yeah, at the time being kinda feel dis way. so lemme express my sorrow a bit in here shall me?

1st, my sista sudah balik ke universitasnya. dah dua minggu rasanya die udah pulang. i miss her like a lot!!!! sekarang saya tdo sorg2, dah xde sape nk teman. i wish my h2b can teman me tdo soundly at nite. perhaps next year ek? but then again, il miss my nights with kak lin. seronok je bersembang (paksa kak lin dgr =p) smpi she gave me all the sign for me to stop mumblings. miss watching ANTM and parental control, miss bancuhkn milo/teh tarik/roti bakar and mkn midnight fatty snacks together, basically i miss her a lot!!! sgt mcm a huge lost in my life, sob sob. out of all these drama, bulan depan die balik lg heheh, to celebrate raya with us. so xdela lama sgt utk jupe kak lin lg.

2nd, my liltlest brother si naim itu telah patah tangan. dua2 tulang tgn kiri die patah. die jatuh dgn skolah, slps die kejar kawan die. pjg sgt storynye, tp pendekkn, dienye tgn sudah patah. i found out the story after i got back home from skool. tgk rumah senyap sunyi xde org, called mak. mak tgh dkt hospital, tgn naim kena simen and die tgh tdo. so mak tunggu smpi naim bangun, baru balik rumah. at the time, wad sume katil penuh, so kena balik rumahla.

smpi dkt rumah, he looked in a lot of pain. me seeing me liltlest brother like dat, sgt teary eyes and my heart ached. kesiannye tgk adikku ini. mak ckp satu tulang jer doktor berjaya betulkn balik,yg tulang satu lagi tu masih mcm bentuk v. so kena wat operation last tuesday. i was like, biar betul. tp mmg betullah kn kena operate. naim kena hari khamis,tp on saturday die dah happy2 jer. wlupn tgn die patah, he manage not to skip solat. hari yg die patah tgn tu pun, solat zohor dgn asar die qadha on the same day, rite after die solat maghrib. itulah naim, selagi die tak solat, sgt resah semacam jer. okay, mcm budak2 lain, die xdela solat awal waktu. xdela azan terus solat. wat i mean to say is im so proud of him wlupn sakit die tak tinggal solat.

so last monday, naim dah kena masuk wad sbb esoknya nk operate. lps sekolah, i went straight to the hospital. naim start kol 12 mlm, dah kena puasa. mlm tu mak yg teman naim kt ward. aku lps borak2 dgn mak n naim, kenala berundur dulu sbb hari pun dah makin lewat, n aku kena drive balik sorg2 pulak tu, huhu.

next morning, dlm pukul 8 aku dah gerak ke hospital. mak tgh baca majalah, abah tgh baca paper. naim tgh main psp. aku duduk jerla atas katil smbil mengacau naim main game. pukul 9.30 barula ada sorg misi dtg suruh tukarkn baju naim. i was damn nervous sbb i knew da time is up, dat my brother is gona be there in the operating room. praying hard, i knew dat dis is the moment where hope and faith intertwine. he's in the doctor's hand and all we can do is to pray dat evrythg will turn out to be alright.

pukul 10.30 misi (heh aku mmg suka panggil nurse misi sbb mcm lg kiut jer dgr) bwkkn katil n wheeled my brother to ot. kitorg pun ikut jerla misi2 itu. diorg tolak laju betul, x larat nk kejar. 10.45, lps bacakn form consent tu, and after salam2 naim pun masuk dlm ot. i wish boleh temankn dier smpi dlm, sbb nampak dier mcm sayu sgt lps salam2. i hate seeing those eyes, but it must be done so you can get better okay naim?

da day before, aku dah bgtau yg aku akn masuk skolah lmbt since my class pun start lmbt. anyway, aperla sgt budak2 nongoi itu berbanding adik ku yg sorg itu. okay fine, bukan semua budak nongoi, tp i wana be here for my brother. kena buang skolah pun like i care! bcoz for this 5 month aku buat keje amal jer nih since my gaji x dapat2 lg. ntah hape2 kn, seb baik aku duduk dgn keluarga aku, minyak kete, duit mkn, bayarkn kete sume fully support by my beloved parent. klu tidak, mau kena mkn pasir hari2. dis week dahla kena buat dat stupid clipping booklet, i hate clipping da booklet, i got paper cut alover my hand n it damn hurt evrytime i sprayed water at my hands. wat get me furious is dat after al those saket pinggang work, the budak2 just toss dat thingy away n never bother to do it at al. budak2 yg perasan pandai pun x buat kejadah pun. wat am i membebel about, dis entry is bout naim, not bout me. tp nak menyelit jugak rasa x puas hati ni. wat da heck, i mean as if they care about me, org baru i must say. yg boleh diarahkn buat sume keje2 yg ntah hape2. wat ever, i'd jst hv to wait til the end of year. selagi blum smpi masa, lets just smile n keep on smiling , shall me? =')

since pukul 12.30 naim x keluar lg dari ot, aku terpaksa jugakla ke sekolah dgn berat hati. lps salam2 mak abah, aku pun pi jela skolah wlupun dlm hati x ingin sgt nk pegi. to make thg worst, jadual dah bertukar. skrang aku kena amik jadual sorg cikgu ni, n my jadual kena direliefkn. korg x paham? aku pun malas nk terangkn coz it sucks, so sucks til i just hope i can fast forward the time till the end of this december. al i can say is, im no longer ajar form1 only, kena ajar form 2 skali. n dapat kelas yg nongoi2 atau dalam bahasa yg kureng, klas reject, yg sume cikgu pun xnk masuk klu boleh. n to look at the bright side, aku dpt subjct yg ringan, such as sivik n moral, subjct yg x masuk periksa. no more ajar science, which is great sbb sblm aku masuk kelas, kena study dulu, yeah to refreshen da long lost memory. tp i guess ajar sivik xde hal la kn. setakat kelentong2 sket, muahahahaha. just kidding, il teach based on text book sahaja, malasla nk cari info lebeh2. beside mcmla budak2 ni interested sgt nk blaja sivik. likewise, klula diorg ni sivic minded sgt, xknla pintu kelas dah smpi berlobang2, cermin pecah, paip tandas sume habis tercabut. and again, fine its up to the teachersla to teach these brats to have a mind with sivic. and again, the simple question will rise again from the grave: what the hell the parent is doing at home? x ajar ke anak2 sendiri smpi dlm otak x abis2 nak vandalismkn sume brg n asyik nak menyusahkn cikgu kt skolah? who da heck am i to care bout sum1 else children? again, no string attachla kn. abis je loceng, im outta here.

all in all, yes im determine to give my best and giving my best intention to teach my students is wat i always intended to do. i love my students (in a appropriate love as a teacher shud love her student la kn) and i want them to excel and pass with flying colors. tp again, its getting hard to get tru their heads these days. asyik nk protes n terlalu perasan diorg pandai sgt. wat everla kn, sumtimes i just humiliate them (in a good way) so dat they know at their age, they arent mr. know-it-all sgt. there's thg only time and experience can be the teacher. and we all been there as adolescence. and i know the tricks on their sleeves but again ive to act all professional and pretend i never know such thg. yeah rite, ive been there, and done dat brats.i was a handful myself but i manage not to make my parent or my teachers went coo coo evrytime they see me. i dont know, is dis my payback aftr wat i did and done in da past? hehe, guess bring it on then! just gimme the taste of my own medicine =P

pjgnye commercial break! rasa mcm malas la pulak nk cite smpi abis pasal naim. nantila next entry aku sambung pulak. sebenarnya nk tulis sket jer sbb dh lama x postkn cite. i know, mesti hampa jer kn tiap kali bukak je site ni xde post baru. so ini hanya la appetiser. main course next entry, where il tell how restless night for mak n naim the night after the operation. its heart breaking n nothing but bucket of tears seeing my brother in a lot of pain. tp, again on the bright side, hari ni cuti sekolah dah pun bermula n naim dah boleh sengih smbil gurau dgn abg die. so its a huge relief and non-stop expressing my gratitude to Allah the Merciful for His blessing upon us all.

sampai sini jerla bebelan cikgu kali ni. yea cikgu tau, cite kali ni agak pening sket, sumenye nak dicitekn in one spill. mmg sgt kelam kabut, isinya habuk tarak. tp again, dis is my thought at this very moment. so blasah jerla. grammar error, content jillo, who cares rite? ofcoz the teacher cares, tp bukankh skrang cuti skolah, so can we all have our break plz? tqvm, catch you guys later. take care and take your meals accordingly =)

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