~ Our Story ~ Muhammad Zarif Zafrin

It is like any other morning, i wake up with heavy tummy and lilo is moving about inside. Such a blissful feeling I had when he's inside me =) So, we did woke up early dat day due to da appointment we had later that morning. Since we are in a rush, we didn't even had breakfast before we left the house.

Our actual appoinment was at 10 o'clock but my beloved hp some how misread the time so here we are at Az-Zahrah at 9 o'clock. It wasn't easy waiting with a toddler WITH huge voice that couldn't sit still for a minute. That day, we had to wait for quite sometimes like always. My back is really killing me, and i couldn't sit still for a minute also =D

So to keep Zairil from making too much noise; we moved about, I even brought him upstairs to the nursery and we looked at the newborn that day. After a while, we went down again and waited inside the car.

Time past by, nearly 1 o'clock we had the chance to meet Dr. Fazlina (yup, that long: almost 5 hours of waiting) We had a brief chat, then we had the ultrasound session. Hp and Zairil weren't in the room with me, they waited in the car. While Dr. Fazlina moving the stick around, she said that the baby is huge. 'Baby macam besar jer nih, kalau kita tunggu lagi, Dokter risau nanti baby akan lagi besar' after that, she said 'let's have a look' and we did the opening checking and turns out I am 5cm dilated already.

Doctor said after this check up I can straight away go the labour room which is located at the same floor. I gave hp a call, and said we're having a baby today =') Later on, hp came over and I told him what i had discussed previously inside Dr. Fazlina's room. We're a bit startled by this but made a quick decision. Hp will bring zairil to hp's parent to gombak, so that he could stay with me in the labour room.

While hp's away, I made my way to the labour room. I get changed, then waited for the nurse to put on the IV drip on me. Later, went to the loo. While waiting, i download the contraction timer which cost me rm2 to monitor the progress. Very basic apps, nothing fancy. Then, a nurse came in, asking me whether I've eaten, which is basically nothing at all since last night. So she brought me some kuih because at that time, they are serving for tea already, and a cup of hot vico as well. After eating, i never felt better (but in my mind, i'm afraid if i had to go to the loo again)

She then asked me to perform solat zuhur, and helped me to take wudhu' (really2 forgotten da niat in Arabic at that time; blame the nervousness, so i just say it BM) At this time, the surges are manageable, I made myself comfortable while waiting on the bed with some reading on the tab. I was determined not to take epidural this time around, so I've been reading post on birthing without epidural or other drugs (i should had read it before I was in the labour room, i know. but i didn't expect to give birth this soon)

Dr. Fazlina did a check up upon me, i think it was about 2 o'clock. She check on the opening, and later said to break the bag. This moment, i still can tolerate the surges... but later, the nurse said lets add up the dosage to speed up the progress (i think it was the pitocin dose?!) and that is when I felt the most intense sensation ever in my life =|

I used the contraction timer, the contraction lasted one minute, but the pain is unbearable. While waiting for that one minute to pass, I cried and held on to the bed's rail. (really2 cried my heart out silently) There's this one older nurse, she waited with me in the room (she was with me when i was in labour with zairil too) That every one minute; i cried. Later when the pain subdued, i kept on saying sorry to the nurse. To which she replied 'takpe, nak bersalin memang macam ni, sakit ni penyembuh dosa'

Then, came a few more nurses, and said 'bagusnya, diam ajer tahan sakit.' That time, i said 'tolong bagi saya ubat tahan sakit. saya tak tahan sakit dah ni' They looked at each other, and the older nurse said to give me the jab.

The time seems so slow at this point, i couldn't bring myself to think how many hours I've spend bearing the pain (feel like forever) The nurse did another check up on me, I was 8-9 cm at that time, and again they said lets add up the dosage. I was shaking my head and put  this pitiful look on my face, but they just increased it anyway. So another continuation episode of crying and checking the contraction began. Out of the sudden, I have this strong epiphany?! or i might say this inner voice saying 'sampai bila nak kena bertahan sakit macam nih, lets do something about it'

I said to the nurses i wanted to have a push. I didn't feel any contraction, but i just wanted to push anyway. So they set up the bed and brought out the equipment. Had another checking, and then came Dr. Fazlina. So the pushing stage begin, and later on i saw my baby =) The first thing i said seeing Lilo is 'ya Allah, baby'

It took a while for me to welcome Lilo in my arms, but we've made it. Hp was running late, so he wasn't with me in the labour room (unlike while having zairil, he was with me the whole time) I had the cutting down below, so while i had the stitches, Dr. Fazlina chatted with me this and that.

There is one time i was coping with the pain, they thought i was about to give birth. So they set up the bed and strap me up. But the opening isn't all the way, so that's a bit of a set back. Luckily the second time, it was fruitful and the time is right.

Dr. Fazlina said 'cepat yea awak bersalin' then i realize, I went into labour room at 1.15pm or more, then gave birth at 3.50pm. but nope, to me i felt like eternity and i didn't feel sekejap at all.

To tell you the truth, whenever i think of the pain, it really gave me a shiver. But if that is the price i have to pay to bring my child to this world, and if the pain is to repent, I'm gladly to do it all over again =)