~ FireFlies ~

Lyrics | Owl City lyrics - Fireflies lyrics

~ I Want...

nobody nobody but you!!!

You know I still love you baby
And it will never change
(Saranghae)

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you
How can I be with another
I don’t want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Why are you trying to
To make me leave ya
I know what you’re thinking
Baby why aren’t you listening
How can I just
Just love someone else and
Forget you completely
When I know you still love me

Telling me you’re not good enough
My life with you is just too tough
You know it’s not right so
Just stop and come back boy
How can this be
When we were meant to be

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you
How can I be with another
I don’t want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you
How can I be with another
I don’t want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Why can’t we just
Just be like this
Cause it’s you that I need
And nothing else until the end
Who else can ever make me feel
The way I feel when I’m with you
No one will ever do

Telling me you’re not good enough
My life with you is just too tough
You know me enough so
You know what I need boy
Right next to you is where I need to be

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you
How can I be with another
I don’t want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you
How can I be with another
I don’t want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don’t want no body, body
I don’t want no body, body

Honey you know it’s you that I want
It’s you that I need
Why can’t you see

I want nobody nobody but you
I want nobody nobody but you
How can I be with another
I don’t want any other
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Back to the days
When we were so young and wild and free
Nothing else matters other than you and me
So tell me why can’t it be
Please let me live my life my way
Why do you push me away
I don’t want nobody nobody nobody nobody but you

~ Happy Two Months ~

~ Happy Two Months Hunny Bunch ~

~ @ One Month ~

• geleng2 kepala if he doesnt want da thg dat we put inside his mouth. be it pacifier or his milk. ofcoz he doesnt kno yet dat geleng2 kepala meaning xnk, dat is his way to stop us from shoving thgs dat he doesnt want. klu kitorg sumbat jugak, let say milk. at first zairil akan geleng2 kepala, then tolak2 dgn lidah. if we keep on insisting, he will drink it but he wont swallow it. endup, kena tukar baju sbb baju basah dgn susu. he's so funny =)
• likes to practice his facial expression while sleeping. he will smile, kerut dahi, cebik, tetiba menangis yg sgt sedeh without any particular reason or sometimes even laugh. he's so cute =)
• most of the time he loves his bath, sometime he hate it. since he's bigger now, i took da liberty to bath him, yay for me!!! before dis, hp bathe him. now i have da gut to bathe him myself, i feel like a real mother! dat i can do evrythg a mother could do =) i self proclaimed i am a mother now, finally phew =)
  
• i can place him on his tummy by myself now! before dis, takut nak terbalik2 kan zairil, pegang pun mcm pegang kaca, sgt berhati2 smpi tgn pun terbelit2 endup mintak tolong hp pegangkan. now, i can handle him with more position and not so awkward anymore.
• he can lift and support his head for quite a while. when i put him on my chest to burp him, he will lift his head and move it right to left. but there's dis one time, couple of second i divert my attention somewhere else, he suddenly terslam his head on my mouth, youchhh!!! luckily he didnt cry, but it left a red mark on his forehead. IABM syndrome goin on for a while, but hp reassure dat zairil is fine and be careful to never do it again.
• he loves to squirm and wriggle and strech till his face become red. then he will terbarf his milk and i will smell like milk.
• before putting him to sleep, have to make sure his ritual, which is to make sure he's in deep sleep. or else, after we put him down, for a few second he will peep with his eyes, then squirm and wriggle, then a warning cry before mata menjadi bulat and it will another 1-2 hour to put him to sleep again.
  
• he wont cry much while we're in da car. he can sleep for hours without crying, but when we arrive home, where's da magical moment gone? he will 'mata bulat' and da sleep process take longer than ever.
• his cries is different now. and he's a bit patience. before, he will cries at da top of his lungs and susah nk pujuk when he cries at dis point. now, please attend him when he let out da warning cry before da peak cry come along.
• he likes to do kira-kira with his fingers. i guess he has my habit masa mengajar dulu-dulu. yup, i like to count with fingers and i teach budak2 itu to use their fingers before mastering counting evrythg in their head.
• he will hiccups if we didnt burp him properly which will remind me of masa time mengajar dulu boleh pulak terhiccup. thank god it lasted for a minute and budak2 nih xdela pulak nk tergelak. i guess i cover it up pretty well.
  

in his pj, ready to sleep dah ibu!

waiting for his milk, hurry up ibu!!!

sudah berjaya meletak meniarapkan dier. sleep so soundly =)

sudah berjaya memandikan zairil =) syabas ain!!!

happy and all smiley =D

banyakkan taip pasal zairil? i guess it's because i watches evry moves and evry thgs he does. and evry day a lot of thgs dat he does fascinate me. it's always amaze me how babies can do so many wonderful thgs dat can melt our heart. and yes, he's growing up so fast, again so amazing! it felt like yesterday we're in hospital, gazing our eyes for da first time, now he's nearly two month. grow up happily and healthy my hunny bunch! ibu and ayah will always be here next to you, to shower you will all our love =)

~ Afterward ~

• the recovery process took quite a while for me. after da 2nd week, i lost a lot of blood and it scared da heck of me. ive been hospitalized for one night, and nearly have to have blood transfusion (hb is quite low, reading : 7). now, im recovering slowly but im gettin there =)
• after a week stayed @ mak's house, mak, abah, naim & bb p umrah. alhamdulillah, my prayer came true. but da x best part is, i felt so sad, da day we said gudbye sgt sedeh. i cried smpi mata jd pau, silly me i kno. afterward, we went & stayed @ hp parent house.
  
• umm, pantang so-so la. i eat evrythg, including eggs coz da dr. told so to boost da blood count. and bayam n evrythg in between. evn ice-cream =p. and for jamu n stuff not really eating it too. tungku pun not evryday. but da berurut 3 days did dat. aper lg, tu jerla bout pantang.
• i didnt count how many days after delivery. bile org tanya 'dah berapa hari dah?' to which i reply 'umm, x kirala berapa hari. dah nak dkt dua bulan' or 'umm, dah sebulan lebeh dah' which da org2 tua look at me like generasi-muda-mmg-begitu look. i dnt kno, i mean as long as i felt great, zairil is doing great, why should i keep on counting da days to past by?
• i am still afraid to hold zairil, n mak said hp pegang zairil lg cekap. he's so fragile and i'm always afraid i will hurt him. but i'm getting there, and i'm handling him with much confident now.
• sometimes i can calm him, most of the time i can't. dats when hp took over and when zairil a bit calm, hp pass him to me and i lullaby him to sleep
• my tummy, da part dat zairil used to kick still hurt till now. sometimes i thought he's still inside me and happily kicking me tummy.
• a few hours after delivery, i ate half of a banana. endup my left arm felt numb and i hardly can move my fingers. thanks net urut2kn my hand. mak ckp mkn pisang (cant remember which type) nanti urat jadi ape ntah, lupa dah. too late, dah mkn baru ckp dkt mak.
• i felt like throwing up and my tummy felt weird after delivery. then i realize how important bengkung is, coz afterward no more feeling like barfing up.

this is some of the things dat i felt after i gave birth to zairil. with more practice and patience, im more confident and expert in handling zairil. tho sometimes i felt helpless and thanks to hp who have been a great father and wonderful to both of us. till here i guess, will write more next time.

~ My Baby Pichas ~

while sleeping, he gave a sweet smile dat always melt my hart.

suka tgk cara dier tdo.

dlm baby cot

in a teddy bear blanky. super cute =)

baru lepas kena cucuk. my poor baby ='(

dis is some of da pichas dat ive taken while he's asleep. sgt heaven jer rasa tgk baby tdo kan? tp bile dier tdo, nak suruh dier bukak mata n main2. tp biler zairil bangun, takut pulak dier nangis, til ive no idea how to comfort him down. always panic when he started to cry, or buat signal nak nangis. but he's a good baby, im da super ultra panic mother. hopefully in time, il do well and be the best mum for zairil, and the best wife for my hp =)

~ IABM Syndrome ~

• i always feel like a bad mummy whenever zairil cries - dr. fazlina said baby cries is a signal he need somethg. not bcoz he sad. but whenever he cries, i cries too. who's da baby nih?
• one day before his 1st checkup and his shot, his left hand bengkak and ada nanah mcm jerawat tp dkt tgn. im so worried and thought im a bad mummy for not noticing binatang ape yg gigit tgn zairil smpi bengkak and bernanah. i cried and worried da whole night. hp ckp there's nothg to worry bout, and we will asked da dr. da next day. (hp ckp tuh kesan bcg, tp saya ckp, bcg cucuk dkt bumbum, bkn dkt tgn. i was way wrong, duh) tp, im so kapla batu, xnk dgr and sgt risau. rupa2 bcg mmg mcm tuh, dier akn bernanah and bengkak skit. dr. ckp xyah sapu aper2 and let da wound heal itself.
• evrytime zairil breath, mcm ada wheezing sound and bunyi sket. hp ckp jgn risau, bile dgr jer bunyi mcm tuh, try burping him. im like yela tuh, kapla batu xnk dgr. but i did it, and yes da sound will go away. again da dr. said its normal sbb minum susu. xyah ubat batuk or anythg it will stop by itself.
• im a bad mummy coz i cant gave him enough milk. he will suckle for a while, till da foremilk is gone. he's so impatience, and went no milk is coming out, he'll cries till i cries. i pump for da hindermilk, and @ da same time gave him fm. i felt worst, but ever since my hgb is too low, my milk production is not doin good either. hp keep encourage me to pump so dat da milk will increase eventually. so im praying hard dat i can provide enough milk for my baby.

whenever i felt i'm a bad mummy, hp will always comfort me. talk senses into me. im always worried, tgk zairil tgh tdo pun tetiba worries and then cries. im so afraid i messup and kesian zairil for having a bad mummy in his life. thank god hp always around to help and support me and made my worries go away. he always have explaination for evrythg but its me yg xnk dgr kapla batu. i did listen, tp mcm x puas. mcm kena dgr ckp dr. jugak baru nak rasa lega and x risau. so from now on, il listen with my full hart wat ever hp said/explain.

dis is da syndrome im currently having. being a mummy is no easy task but im trying my best to raise zairil the best dat i cud. hopefully il succeed in doin so. wana write more, but later i guess. till here then, assalamualaikum...

~ Our Story ~ Muhammad Zairil Zahrin

Assalamualaikum and ola evryone =) hows evryone doin? evrythg good kan? in dis post, i wana write the chronicle of Zairil's birth. it is not the way ive expected it, but alhamdulillah, Allah gave us our precious gift dat il cherrish da most for sure.

...so here goes our story...

it begin with on friday, 5th Feb 2010 where we went to az-zahrah for hp appoinment. it has been a busy week for both of us, i never walk, move around dat much ever since i was pregnant. and my tummy keep on tightening on and off every single day like i said before, it ranges between 5-15 minutes. when it came, ofcoz i can hardly breath, but when it went away, we continue our chores like always.

being a first timer, ofcoz we didnt know da procedure to give birth @ az-zahrah. we thought our monthly checkup with da md qualified us to give birth there. thank god for hp's appoinment, where we went to da 1st level, and then i saw dis flyers for da antenatal class. i asked hp to go to da counter and register us for da class, and dats when we knew dat in order to give birth @ az-zahrah, we must at least meet da dr. pakar twice. i started to panic bcoz da edd is another one month, and we never met da dr. yet even once. so nurse tu pun ckp xpe, xpe she schedule an appoinment for us with dr. fazlina da next tuesday. im like, thank god, dah selesai satu isu, now i can smile again, dah x rasa worried dah.

after hp's appoinment, we went straight home. da whole day sgt memenatkan, early morning we went to uniten, have a good flash back memory with hp, round2 a bit till da nxt time we went there again. then, hp went for friday prayer, later barula p appointment tuh. i never felt so exhausted, but again being clingy, nak jugak ikut everywhere hp went. @ home, we are so tired and so flat out, we just rest till midnight. im so x larat nk pape dah, just lazing on da couch jer while watching tv, channel 733, the birth story. i never knew its goin to be my turn pulak, asyik tgk org lain jer yg gave birth...

anyway, since dah midnight and we both didnt eat anythg yet, we decided to go out n beli kfc. so siap2 and off we went cari2 mana kfc outlet yg bukak 24/7. malam tuh pun tetiba bykla pulak polis buat roadblock. almost evry street ada jer polis. n evrytime approaching da polis, kenala pakai seatbealt. owh, da tummy keep tightening on and off as usual, so dats why amau pki seatbelt...

we did manage to find da kedai. and i dnt feel like eating, so i opt for da toasted twister, tp dah abis. felt frustrated a bit =( so while waiting for our order, like always im x larat nk berdiri lama2, i said to hp dat i wana sit down for a while. and dis tummy made me hard to breath. im trying hard to catch my breath, sambil buat muka x larat. then dis one chinese guy yg tgh order makanan, glance at me and he smiled. im like tgh xleh bernafas, smile yg x ikhlas to him. later, hp pun dah setel bayar evrythg, cuma nak ambil makanan sume. so i got up, and i felt watery running down my legs. i am like, eyh nape nih and sit down again. da 2nd time i got up, da water keep coming down again. i just gave hp dis petrified look n told him wat happen. then we saw a poodle of water on da floor. tp we didnt make a scene or anythg. just keep it cool between us, well, hp jer yg cool, im not. dah nk panik sgt dah time tuh. then when hp nk amik all da food, da same chinese guy offer da straw sbb hp x amik pun lg. but kitorg pun dah kelam kabut nk leave da store, x amik pun straw and we immediately leave. along da way, da water keep on coming out and i dnt feel like walking pun takut lg byk yg keluar =(

sampai dkt kereta, i started to cry, i dnt wana get in da car bcoz i dnt wana wet da seat. i just stand there while da water keep coming out and kept crying. kesian hp, keep on pujuk me and comfort me when i just simply cry and keep mumbling all my worries. i just cant believe dis is all happening in da middle of dawn which is around 3 o'clock in da morning while we were buying our dinner!!!

in da car, we knew dat dis baby is coming, and guess wat? da hospital bag for mummy n baby x siap pun. and da appoinment with da dr. is next week, so i said to hp while crying 'kita nk bersalin dkt mana? mcm mana klu hospital tu x terima kita' i kept crying, and evrytime da water came out, my noise pitch higher. hp called da hospital and they asked us to come asap. barula rasa x panik sgt and i did stop crying for a while. so we went back to our home, hp pack evrythg while i waited in da car continue crying and panicking. later we went to az-zahrah...

when we get there, there's another lady with her husband who look heavily pregnant n nmpk dlm sgt kesakitan. a man offered her a wheel chair n push her inside. me still walking tough sbb x rasa sakit, cuma da water keep flowing while i walk. hp went to da counter and they told us to go to da 1st floor.

@ da 1st floor, we've to wait for a while coz they attend da wheel chair lady 1st. i didnt wanna sit on da sofa coz il wet it. then, they put dis blue thingy dat absorb da water on da sofa, barula i sit down. quite a while jugakla we waited outside while da water keep on coming out. i made a sad face each time da water came out, hp comfort me al da time, told me not to worry, evrythg will be fine.

later, we went into dis one room, changed into da hospital outfit and had to lay down on da bed. while changing, i made a puddle on da floor and da nurse was quite surprise by da volume of da water and she wipe it out. later a sister came in and check up and already dilated 4 cm. da contraction is very mild, i hardly felt it. she saw da puddle and saw my wet selipar. she asked whether i wash my feet, said tak, ni air ketuban. after checkup, went to ward.

around 9 o'clock, a nurse came with da iv and da tablet. then had a visit from dr. fazlina. dis is da 1st time i met her and i love her already. she did some checkup and after all settle, we went to da labour room. @ da labour room, we waited for da moment to come. da nurse put da pitoccin to speed up da process. and da dose is increasing coz im not feeling anythg, not too much pain. da contraction is there only not too much. da nurse suggest to take da epidural but we decided not to take it at first. as da time went by, and da pitoccin is increasing, i felt twice sharp pain like evry where, hp said we'll take da epidural.

so after da drugs kicks in, i hardly felt my legs, but da pain is still there but bearable. so we waited together and da nurse keep on checking on us. she's a lovely lady, so motherly and very patience and so helpful. around 11.40 am, in da other room, a sound of baby cries occupied da room, meaning dat da wheelchair lady just gave birth. so after attending da wcl, dr. fazlina came to our room. she checked on me, and found out dat im fully dilated and asked me to start pushing.

being a first timer, ive no idea how to push. i just hold my breath and start pushing. da epidural made me feel no contraction. so a nurse stand by my side and felt my tummy. whenever she felt da contraction, she asked me to push. ive no idea how many times i pushed, and it felt like im not doing it right. later da dr. said she wana use da vacumn, da next thing i knew, my baby is on my tummy and i cried like ive never cried before. da feeling was incredible, i never knew i cud feel so much love coming from inside of me.

dr. fazlina said to me to hold da baby, but im afraid il drop him or il spread germ on him. so i gave zairil a lil pat and then da nurse took him. i just watched da nurse clean him up, weight him and i think they gave him oxygen for a while. he just lay there with his eyes wide open. he's so peaceful and looking at him made me cries even more, silly me.

(when da nurse took him, at dat moment i realise zairil is a boy. i thought my baby is a girl, but i was wrong. he's such adorable, cuddly baby. thank you Allah for this greatest gift of all)

da stiching is quite long, da dr. said dat my uterus is weak, rahim x kuat. i dnt kno wat dat means, but while stitching so many blood came out. so da nurse gave me a shot. later when evrythg is finished, we went back to da ward.

later, mak and evryone came to visit. also hp family came by too. zairil was brought in and evryone is happy to see him. when da room is so crowded, zairil was taken away to da nursery, to keep him away from germ.

after a while, evryone leave except hp. he accompanied me till early in da morning, but he went back home later. da next day, dr. fazlina came in to check out evrythg, and later we went back to my family's home.

i guess dis is all i can come up with. im very grateful evrythg went well and our lo is here with us now. he's such a wonderful baby, and we're bless to have him with us. yes, he's here early, one month early, and ofcoz we're not prepared to be parent yet. but we accept wat life throws at us and hopefuly we will do our best to raise our son.

il write more, but later2 lah coz having a baby is not sumthg you can toy with. he need and demand lotsof attention and care. when ive time, il write more insyaAllah. so evryone, lets aja aja fighting!!! take care, assalamualaikum...

~ Shower My Love ~

It's a boy, my boy, my son, our son =)

Muhammad Zairil Zahrin Bin Muhammad Zuhrin
DOB : 06/02/10 ~ 21hb Safar 1431
POB : Az-Zahrah, Bangi
TOB : 1:50 pm
Weight : 2.95 kg
Length : 51 cm

Curious eyes to venture da world

Seeing heaven infront of my very eyes

Presenting our first born, our son. Alhamduilllah, thank you Allah for giving us dis greatest gift ever =) im really happy everythg went smoothly and we are in good condition. It's been 11 days now, both of us trying to cope with each other. a lot to learn indeed, and having my own baby it's intimidating yet it's a blessing. i wana write more, but kinda stuck with words. when im available, il tell a bit of wat happen. so for now, enjoy my baby pichas eyh =)

~ Pichas ~

ola, assalamualaikum... nothg much to write for dis post. just wana post da pichas as promised long time ago. dis pichas was taken last month, so approximately im about 7 months at dat point. latest pichas, umm my tummy i think still da same as last month. tp if we take another shot, il put it in here eyh. i kno x byk pichas, sbb malas nak tunggu for uploading. i guess dis will do. so lets have a look shall we?

ni gambar kitorg bersama budaks nih di dpn villa tbla. sgt rumah tinggal, tp da show finale dier bln march. so di manakah peserta2 itu berada sekarang?

da villa dat we stayed. sgt excitednye m2b di belakang itu. wat everla, blasah jerla kan? =)

gambar di masjid selat melaka. sgt best solat sambil dgr deruan ombak. angin pun best jer layan. and x ramai org pun. i hope we can go again.

tiga jer gambar? jadila kan. there's not many pictures were taken during pregnancy, sbb im not in da weather to take pichas a.k.a malas. plus no one to take da pichas. im not really into snapping own pichas, if there's no one to take da pichas, maka xdela gambar. i think datsal to write about for dis time. will write some more, tp nanti2la eyh. take care evryone, assalamualaikum...