~ Afterward ~

• the recovery process took quite a while for me. after da 2nd week, i lost a lot of blood and it scared da heck of me. ive been hospitalized for one night, and nearly have to have blood transfusion (hb is quite low, reading : 7). now, im recovering slowly but im gettin there =)
• after a week stayed @ mak's house, mak, abah, naim & bb p umrah. alhamdulillah, my prayer came true. but da x best part is, i felt so sad, da day we said gudbye sgt sedeh. i cried smpi mata jd pau, silly me i kno. afterward, we went & stayed @ hp parent house.
  
• umm, pantang so-so la. i eat evrythg, including eggs coz da dr. told so to boost da blood count. and bayam n evrythg in between. evn ice-cream =p. and for jamu n stuff not really eating it too. tungku pun not evryday. but da berurut 3 days did dat. aper lg, tu jerla bout pantang.
• i didnt count how many days after delivery. bile org tanya 'dah berapa hari dah?' to which i reply 'umm, x kirala berapa hari. dah nak dkt dua bulan' or 'umm, dah sebulan lebeh dah' which da org2 tua look at me like generasi-muda-mmg-begitu look. i dnt kno, i mean as long as i felt great, zairil is doing great, why should i keep on counting da days to past by?
• i am still afraid to hold zairil, n mak said hp pegang zairil lg cekap. he's so fragile and i'm always afraid i will hurt him. but i'm getting there, and i'm handling him with much confident now.
• sometimes i can calm him, most of the time i can't. dats when hp took over and when zairil a bit calm, hp pass him to me and i lullaby him to sleep
• my tummy, da part dat zairil used to kick still hurt till now. sometimes i thought he's still inside me and happily kicking me tummy.
• a few hours after delivery, i ate half of a banana. endup my left arm felt numb and i hardly can move my fingers. thanks net urut2kn my hand. mak ckp mkn pisang (cant remember which type) nanti urat jadi ape ntah, lupa dah. too late, dah mkn baru ckp dkt mak.
• i felt like throwing up and my tummy felt weird after delivery. then i realize how important bengkung is, coz afterward no more feeling like barfing up.

this is some of the things dat i felt after i gave birth to zairil. with more practice and patience, im more confident and expert in handling zairil. tho sometimes i felt helpless and thanks to hp who have been a great father and wonderful to both of us. till here i guess, will write more next time.